Interview with Mistress Didi

Part two
by Scarlet Apron

What can new subs expect to go through serving you?

I give an interview followed by a testing process, which lasts approximately three months when you are physically available to me on a weekly basis.  My testing requirements change dependent upon a sub’s availability and abilities.  I don’t waste my valuable time training someone to be a perfect submissive until I see they are worthy of my invaluable skills, which is determined by how well they are able to accomplish the tasks I set them to.  I design each potential submissive’s tasks to address their abilities and test their limits to show them – and me – how they are able to rise to the occasion.  I always include tasks that are not what one expects, such as the usual cleaning chores, but which stimulate the submissive’s creative and thinking processes.  I create tasks within their means and fetishes, which creates great enjoyment for me in my own personal evolution as well.  My testing period is in itself a training process which offers a path of self-growth and evolution, if the submissive is intelligent enough to recognize and appreciate this, whether I accept them into my service or not.   I always work within a person’s financial means – I don’t want to cause damage by upsetting anyone’s life needs.  We all “work hard for the money” and I have absolutely no respect for a submissive who will deny her or his family to accommodate my desires.  I particularly have no respect for a dominant who would demand that kind of sacrifice from a submissive.  That’s just plain ghoulish behavior and completely unacceptable.  I believe in rewards rather than punishments for behavior.  I don’t want to break the sub.  I want the sub to submit to me willingly.  When they are good, we both enjoy things they enjoy; when they displease me, they suddenly find themselves “without” – without play, without socialization, without every and anything that attracted them to me and my domain in the first place.  I desire a submissive who is totally devoted to me being comfortable and happy, because when I’m happy everyone is happy, when I’m not happy, no one’s happy.

 

Worse scene offense?

To take a sub who hasn’t been released from his or her mistress, even to play with them, because that is disrespectful of someone’s property.  Every other dom will snub you and you won’t be forgiven.  People will hold that against you forever.

 

When you train a sub, what roads blocks do you come up against?

There was a female sub who would never come over to me and she finally told me why.  She said, “I think I wouldn’t be beautiful enough for you.” because of my whole fitness lifestyle.  I was so hurt because women don’t realize that we are beautiful in every way.  That’s that.  Men, it’s a different story.   They think they can look anyway and do anything.  And we’re supposed to be Barbie dolls to them and should be thrilled that they want to be in our presence.  The road blocks are physical, mental and emotional, self-imposed restrictions.  I train submissives to navigate through and around them towards healthy and happy goals.  When subs come up against blocks, because I am a therapist, we sit down and discuss it and use techniques and homework to work through the limitations towards the true joy of service, and in particular, the joy of service to me.

 

 

What’s an example of a road block and some corrective homework?

We’re having this conversation at the perfect time.  A few years ago, a male wanted to sub to me and would not recognize that he needed to come to the fact that he was really a dominant personality -- and he wouldn’t be a good dom, either, because he wants everything to be done according to his pictures of what doming should be.  He was instructed to call me at 7 o’clock everyday, whether I spoke to him or not.  To show him his nature, I would speak to him two days in a row and then, let three days would go by without speaking to him.  So, he decided to begin skipping days, giving the reason that since he could not speak with me, he thought I didn’t mean for him to call every day.  I am very clear in my specific instructions and mean what I command.  When I told him, I will speak to you when I want to speak to you and you are to call daily, period,” he threw a hissy-fit-temper-tantrum.  Note:  If I raise my voice, you’re dismissed.  I made him see the reality that when he couldn’t have what he wanted, that he tried to find a way to punish me with bad behavior.  The next step was to begin the process of identifying the causes of his behavior to bring him to the revelation of what he truly desired.  We began with the question of “What do you think caused this behavior?” and continued through that process so that he could see he was topping from the bottom.  He did not expect the training process to lead to a goal of letting go of his expectations and learning to trust.  I had bets going on how long he was going to last.  He lasted seven weeks.  Recently, he sent me an email thanking me for helping him to begin on the path to finding his true nature as a dominant.  That was nice and rather evolved of him.

 

Advice for young doms/dominas just getting started?

First, make a list of why you want to be a dominant; why you need to be one.  Think of what being a dominant is going to give you.  Then, look at that list and really think about everything on it.  Are your expectations realistic?  Will this make you happy?  What will these things bring to your life?  Second, get out, ask questions and introduce yourself to other dominant females, as many as you can, because you need a good strong base of what it is to be a fem dom before you can start hanging out with male doms.  Far too many male dominants think that every woman wants to sub to them.   They’re rude and disrespectful and always an asshole in some way.  There are very few male doms that are super cool and I usually attract them to me.  It’s about respect and that usually begins at home with a good mother.  The next thing about new doms, no matter what you want to do, learn technique, read, take classes, take workshops, have personal sessions, learn some psychology, learn first aid, do whatever you need to do to be safe, sane and able to play in a consensual manner.

 

Just how intimidated is the average Joe by you?

They are not intimidated.  They think they’re going to top me, every single one of them.  I think it has to do with my size, I’m very petite.  If I never said I was a dom, they would probably be subbing to me left and right.  If you tell them you’re a dom, then they’re fascinated and they think “I’m going to show her, I’m a man!”  And they can’t compete.  I have very little patience for stupid men and too many of them are “below-average-Joes”!

 

Let’s get back to the scene at the funeral….

The deceased was very cool, had the coolest wife ever, and she actually honored his request that I do a strip tease and a trampling.  That’s how I met him originally.  I was partying at a club where everyone stripped for a contest to win $1000 dollars.  So, I did a strip tease and then a trampling scene on one of his friends, who also offered himself for this final farewell.  It was a tribute and that’s going to stay in my mind forever because between the looks of horror on the vanilla people’s faces and the looks of total appreciation on the fetish people’s faces, it was like something out of a sci-fi movie.  It was very befitting to honor him that way.

 

What is the Classic Fetish™ Philosophy?

Classic Fetish™ is the appreciation of the passion of power-at-play expressed in ways that allow you to get in touch with that deepest part of yourself that makes life feel exciting, vibrant, worth living, complete.  This appreciation is represented by the best inside of you, which you share with the utmost respect for the players in the scene.  Fetish can save the world, I believe that.  We could save people from blowing each other up, killing each other and everything if we would just learn to be comfortable with our self-expression.  Our world doesn’t allow you to express yourself because everyone makes you wrong no matter what you do.  Why is it wrong to like pain? Why is it wrong to inflict it as an art?  If we stop judging self-expression, we’ll have more time for self-appreciation and the appreciation of the expressions of other people.  And then we won’t find reasons to make war and kill each other, we’ll find reasons to make art and heal each other.

 

Your apartment is on fire, what do you grab first?

My dog.  Absolutely.  He’s a miniature pincher and a certified service dog.   I trained service dogs (for people with disabilities) for a while but had to stop because I wanted to keep them all.

 

What’s your favorite toy?

Oh, I love knife play, but favorite toy du jour is my raw hide cane.  I had a favorite hemp flogger and you know? Some idiot tried to smoke it!

 

Celebrity you’d like to dom?

There are so many…. I was gonna say Brad Pitt, but I would probably kill him over what he did to Jennifer Aniston.   Denzel Washington…. OH BABY!  But I wouldn’t dom him, that’s just not him.  Helen Bonham Carter and Johnny Depp.  Good God Almighty!!! I want to tie that boy up, spank him and lick him like a lollypop.  And you know who else? (Didi goes into detail for about five minutes on the celebs she’d like to dominate) …Helen Mirren and Meryl Streep.  Ok, that’s all.

 

Book on your nightstand?

The complete collection of Philip K. Dick.   And I just finished, for about the tenth time, Machiavelli’s The Prince.  Very important book for doms.

 

CD in your CD player?

Oh God, I have over 500 CDs. I love music.  John Coltrane and Johnny Hartman.

 

Places you hang out?

The Baroness’ Fetish Retinue, Bloomingdales.  I love high tea or a nice piano or hotel bar.

 

Something people wouldn’t guess about you?

I cry at movies.  I cry at everything.  I am the biggest water works in the world.

 

Food you can be seduced with?

Chocolate and good champagne.

 

Your motto?

Don’t start none, won’t be none.



For more information, go to www.classicfetish.org.

*Contact Scarlet Apron at scarletapron@yahoo.com or myspace.com/scarletapron with fetish news and events.