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DAVID THORPE

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The Big Hurt: Frequently asked questions

Pop's great rhetorical inquiries answered in uncomfortably erotic detail
Who wrote the book of love? Book of Love (1990) was a low-budget teen comedy that I rented once on a whim.

By: DAVID THORPE | December 17, 2008

The Big Hurt: Dr Pepper sickens Axl

Plus Creed threaten to exist again; Camp Freddy awful
Unless we act fast, the darkest chapter in American æsthetic history may soon be revisited.

By: DAVID THORPE | December 12, 2008

The Big Hurt: The YouTube anime mystery

What the hell is wrong with the Internet? Thorpe utterly fails to investigate . . .
YouTube is now so shockingly complete in its catalogue of illegally uploaded music that it's like a cheap jukebox that plays every song, ever.

By: DAVID THORPE | December 02, 2008

The Big Hurt: Weezy unplugged

Plus Auerbach unbound and Glitter undeterred
Our dream of a post-racial America moved one space closer to "king me" on the checkerboard of terrible metaphors this week

By: DAVID THORPE | November 24, 2008

The Big Hurt: The Obama jubilance debriefing

When celebrities celebrate, metaphors suffer
Obama is the first president in history to drop a HOVA reference in a campaign speech by way of a little hand-brushy motion, and rappers turned out in droves to support him.

By: DAVID THORPE | November 19, 2008

Say it ain't so, Joe

Breaking: Biden resigns the vice-presidency amid Wentzgate scandal
Breaking: Biden resigns the vice-presidency amid Wentzgate scandal

By: DAVID THORPE | November 14, 2008

Interview: Girl Talk

David Thorpe chats up Gregg Gillis
David Thorpe chats up Gregg Gillis

By: DAVID THORPE | November 14, 2008

The Big Hurt: Peace capes

Plus Moz yarns, Osmond extensions
The dismissal of the drunk-driving case against Britney Spears has brought a ceremonial end to the downfall that ushered in a new Golden Age of tabloid journalism.

By: DAVID THORPE | November 10, 2008

Stayin’ alive

How to survive without resorting to disco
Once in a while, usually during slow rock weeks, some strange little “quirky news” story will get stuck in the media craw and bounce around uselessly to pretty much every outlet.

By: DAVID THORPE | October 28, 2008

Offa my couch, Larroquette

Foos fight McCain, Madonna pans Palin, Heart hearts Barack
In a video posted to his Web site, former Rolling Stone Ringo Starr has lovingly warned his fans to stop sending him fan mail.

By: DAVID THORPE | October 24, 2008

The Big Hurt: The week in digital mishaps

Internets threaten Kid Rock, Steven Tyler, and sexy bits
Say what you will about Kid Rock, but I will not allow you to deny that the man is a fucking artiste .

By: DAVID THORPE | October 15, 2008

The Big Hurt: Rotten butter

John Lydon spreads it on thick. Plus, intrusive devices and CGI pissoirs
John Lydon spreads it on thick. Plus, intrusive devices and CGI pissoirs

By: DAVID THORPE | October 08, 2008

Rate expectations

The Big Hurt: World-class criticism priced to move!
Grim economic news makes me pretty nervous.

By: DAVID THORPE | October 01, 2008

The Big Hurt: Hagar the horrible

Plus award-winning awards and buggering Beatles
I was reading a fascinating article about Sammy’s new record deal, and an epiphany struck: every year, Sammy looks more and more like the Dude.

By: DAVID THORPE | September 24, 2008

Didn’t they blow our minds this time

The Big Hurt: Just how rad is the new NKOTB album?
Last week, I offered my fragile body up for a heinous act of self-abuse in the name of science.

By: DAVID THORPE | September 16, 2008

The Big Hurt: Deepest sympathies

Our heartfelt condolences to Usher, Sammy Hagar, Courtney Love, and the Verve
One writer to another, I offer Mr. Portnow some freebies he can use to wrap up his next few releases.

By: DAVID THORPE | September 08, 2008

The Big Hurt: Confessions of a band namer

The music industry’s best-kept secret speaks out
Maybe you’ve never heard the name Harold Wells, but it’s a safe bet that you’re a fan of his handiwork.

By: DAVID THORPE | September 02, 2008

The Big Hurt: Earnest goes to camp

Plus baby comes from Clay and Bizkit defects to Manson
Hey: when the Verve play shows in America, they should start out their set with a cover of “The Freshman,” just so everyone’s like, “Wait a minute, I thought I had this shit figured out.”

By: DAVID THORPE | August 26, 2008

The Big Hurt: Reconstructive criticism

How music can be better
The job of any great music critic (e.g., me) is to provide useful suggestions to musicians, thus advancing the art.

By: DAVID THORPE | August 19, 2008

The Big Hurt: More bad news in brief

DMX spits, Lou spills, Kelly leaks, Keane sucks
Police pulled over Snoop Dogg’s tour bus and — gasp! — smelled marijuana!

By: DAVID THORPE | August 13, 2008

The Big Hurt: Playing with fire

Lil Wayne runs afoul of the ABKCO juggernaut
Milli-selling rapgoblin Lil Wayne probably didn’t worry too much about borrowing the Rolling Stones’ “Play with Fire” for the hook of his track “Playing with Fire.”

By: DAVID THORPE | August 05, 2008

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