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DAVID THORPE

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The Big Hurt: My application to have sex with Sinéad O'Connor

Not a Nigel!
Sinéad O'Connor recently posted a rather extraordinary blog entry, titled "IS SINÉAD ABOUT TO HUMP HER TRUCK?"

By: DAVID THORPE | September 06, 2011

The Big Hurt: Alex James's cheese, the Chili Peppers' video, Noel and Liam's suit, Nicole Scherzinger's Killer Love, Sammy Hagar's Chickenfoot III

Music news in brief
James is on the vanguard of a truly extraordinary future: now that cheese has been infused with the flavor of ketchup, it's only a matter of time before entire cheeseburgers — with beef, onions, lettuce, tomato, bacon, and all — are compressed into pre-sliced cheese singles so you can carry them around in your wallet.

By: DAVID THORPE | August 31, 2011

The Big Hurt: Hot singles of August 23, 1986

Who charted?
I thought it would be fun to take a look at the Hot 100 as it stood exactly 25 years ago — mostly so I wouldn't have to listen to any fucking Katy Perry songs this week.

By: DAVID THORPE | August 23, 2011

The Big Hurt: Johnny's mansion, Noel's singles, Keith's fragrance, Big Boi's boner, Alice's maze, Hype's erotic thriller, Nicki's boob

Music news in brief
Johnny Rotten's mansion burnt down. A tragedy, but made sadder still by the fact that it happened two weeks before the riots, denying anarchists in the UK the chance to properly thank him for appearing in butter commercials and licensing official Sex Pistols perfumes.

By: DAVID THORPE | August 16, 2011

The Big Hurt: Ten years of Kidz Bop

The kidz are alright
I've made fun of Kidz Bop plenty in the past, but it's time to get real: Kidz Bop is a venerable institution now, worthy of serious retrospection.

By: DAVID THORPE | August 16, 2011

The Big Hurt: Pablo Dylan's 10 Minutes

Meritocracy news
Bob Dylan's 16-year-old grandson, Pablo Dylan, just dropped 10 Minutes , his first rap mixtape.

By: DAVID THORPE | August 04, 2011

The Big Hurt: Kiedis's new look; plus, Incubus, Moz, Bieber, and Robbie Williams

Music news in brief
Beware: the RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS have a new track called "The Adventures of Rain Dance Maggie."

By: DAVID THORPE | July 27, 2011

The Big Hurt: Bieber Silences Youth, Kings of Leon Sell Out

The week's best press releases
I hadn't originally planned a press-release review for this week, but some PR blasts require immediate attention.

By: DAVID THORPE | July 19, 2011

The Big Hurt: Smash Mouth egg, Juggalos gather, Oasis grump, Bieber fades

Music news in brief
By the time you read this, Steve Harwell of SMASH MOUTH may be caked in sweat and yolk flecks, clutching his distended belly, groaning and wheezing — more so than usual, even.

By: DAVID THORPE | July 12, 2011

The Big Hurt: Calling all Rembrandts!

The Dutch 'Cultural Meltdown'
While scouring the press release bin for cheap laughs, I came across a story of some legitimate interest: a coalition of Dutch artists recently took out an ad in the New York Times advising "Do Not Enter the Netherlands — Cultural Meltdown in Progress."

By: DAVID THORPE | July 11, 2011

The Big Hurt: Winehouse blows it in the Balkans, Morrissey murders cats

Music news in brief
Some people think music writing is pretty soft compared to being a war correspondent or whatever, but I listened to a Limp Bizkit song and an Evanescence song tonight. That has to be a million times worse than anything that's ever happened in Libya.

By: DAVID THORPE | June 29, 2011

florida psychic speaks to michael jackson

The Big Hurt: MJ's ghost speaks!

A Florida psychic gets the message from Michael
In case you've been bummed by the dearth of posthumous Michael Jackson tracks, I've got some good news.

By: DAVID THORPE | June 24, 2011

Suede reclaimed

The best ever!
It's an emotional time for the few surviving members of the Teenage Anglophiles-of-the-'90s club.

By: DAVID THORPE | June 16, 2011

The Big Hurt: 'That Girl in Pink' cures cancer; Nick Jonas falls for Big Oats

Tween releases
This week, another stroll through the terrifying graveyard of unloved press releases.

By: DAVID THORPE | June 09, 2011

The Big Hurt: Bieber's scent, Foster the People's kicks, Dylan's smack, Tyler and Sara's tiff

Music news in brief
Though our wee lad is scarcely old enough to develop a musky scent of his own, he's already prepping his second commercial fragrance.

By: DAVID THORPE | June 01, 2011

The Big Hurt: Getting serious about Tyler, the Creator

Word games
Odd Future's lyrics — particularly those of frontman Tyler, the Creator — aren't for the faint of heart.

By: DAVID THORPE | May 25, 2011

The Big Hurt: Lep, Squire, Cee-Lo, and Sufjan duke it out

Lamewatch!
There's no end of lameness in music news this week, but here are a few of the highlights.

By: DAVID THORPE | May 19, 2011

The Big Hurt: Hit men get hit, plus Kid Rock, ICP, Dave Grohl, Steven Tyler, Lil B & Jay Electronica, and Bieberwatch

Music news in brief
This week in big trouble: RICK SPRINGFIELD was arrested for driving drunk, FLAVOR FLAV was busted for a bunch of stuff, PHIL SPECTOR's appeal was rejected, and an American Navy SEAL team shot and killed gentle '70s folk-rock singer OSAMA BIN LADEN.

By: DAVID THORPE | May 10, 2011

The Big Hurt: Loko and loco

This month in hip-hop controversy
A little part of me died when the Man took Four Loko away. Yes, it was a much smaller part than the area of my brain that died while Four Loko was legal, but I still miss the stuff. Last month, reports surfaced that Colt 45 would be filling the void with Blast, a candy-flavored fizzy drink with enough alcohol per can to knock out a baby centaur.

By: DAVID THORPE | May 06, 2011

More unloved press releases

Weed's rights, etc.
Space used to be about buzz-cut patriots putting boots to moon to teach those rascally Russkies a lesson, but now it's just nerds studying gravity and rich idiots buying their way up.

By: DAVID THORPE | April 27, 2011

Losers of the Hot 100

Who charted?
In today's "Who Charted?", I'll be checking out a few of the biggest losers on the Billboard Hot 100.

By: DAVID THORPE | April 19, 2011

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