[VIDEO] Day One Highlights: Cops gas protesters; Bristol's keepin' her baby

This was to have been where we'd have heard Dubya talk about what a great job the Republicans have done with the country these last eight years, and how we should all rejoice for the opportunity to give them four more. Instead, the President showed an ounce of shame and kept his mug off television, praying that Gustav wouldn't force everyone to roll out the Katrina footage again. The topic of the day turned out to be Sarah Palin, again: it turns out that not only is the 44-year-old ex-beauty-queen a mother of five, she's four months away from being a grandmom -- her 17 year old is five months pregnant, and Sarah and her husband couldn't be prouder.

If you think Palin's experience as governor of Alaska makes her qualified to be Vice President, you should ask some actual Alaskans. It appears that nobody up there thinks she's ready to be a heartbeat from the Presidency, either.  

Without further ado, we'll go to the tape:

1. St. Paul Police Department cut short their press conference, but not before a spokesman was forced to admit that they'd detained a journalist. When asked to identify the journalist, the spokesman declines:

2. From CNN, police pepper-spray and tear-gas a peaceful protest. Collateral damage: the CNN cameraman gets a whiff of the gas himself:

3. Collateral damage included a credentialled photographer:

4. Citizen journalist captures National Guard firing on unarmed protesters and gassing the protest's designated medics:

5. Meanwhile, re: Bristol Palin: Don't preach, she's keepin' her baby:

6. Laura Bush addresses the RNC:

7. CNN's Campbell Brown asks Republican spokesman Tucker Bounds to name an order -- any order -- that Sarah Palin made as commander in chief of the Alaskan National Guard. Tucker then does one of the all-time-great spokesman tangos in a desperate, stuttering, 1000-word attempt not to say, "I'm sorry, I can't do that":

8. Somehow, the RNC hasn't found the time to issue a talking points memo about her trial-by-fire experience as a local-news sportscaster. This clip may explain why: