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An imagined news conference with Senator Reed

As we know, US Senator Jack Reed has been stating his intentions about the future for months and months.

Yet the message had not yet sunk in during this recent (fictional) news conference:

Reporter 1: Senator, is there anything that could change your mind about becoming Obama's running mate if he were to ask?

Reed: My intention is to seek reelection to the Senate. That's what I've said all along.

Reporter 1: What about if Obama said 'pretty please, with sugar on top'?

Reporter 2: Or if he threw in all the tea in China?

Reporter 3: Or a membership in Red Sox Nation?

Reporter 7: Or a Chia pet?

Reed: No!

Reporter 3: How about if he gave you some Girl Scout cookies?

Reed: Not a chance.

Reporter 4: Senator, when you say you will not take the post even if Obama asks you to, what does 'will not take' mean?

Reed: I am running for reelection to the Senate.

Reporter 1: What would it take to get you on the ticket?

Reporter 4: Yeah!

Reporter 2: C'mon Jack, it's a little slow in the summer.

Reed: Grrrrrr.

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17 Comments

  • Alarmed Rhode Islander said:

    An imagined conversation between Ian Donnis and Jack Reed:

    Jack Reed: "Jump, Ian!"

    Ian Donnis: "How high?"

    July 28, 2008 5:24 PM
  • Ian Donnis said:

    For a characteristically anonymous and misguided troll, you're very clever!

    July 29, 2008 9:23 AM
  • Alarmed Rhode Islander said:

    I am neither a troll nor misguided. Save your soul before its too late. Remember there is a distinction between being a journalist and a propagandist. You have the choice to either help save what's left of this country or you can remain a complicit hack contributing to its destruction. Your paper is propaganda. Why don't you go help sell some strip club ads.

    July 29, 2008 7:40 PM
  • Ian Donnis said:

    If you offer something beyond a baseless assertion ("you're paper is propaganda"), I'll be happy to engage you in debate.

    July 30, 2008 9:04 AM
  • Alarmed Rhode Islander said:

    Ian, before writing pieces that do nothing but flatter and rubber stamp Jack Reed, take some time to look into what Reed is really all about. For example, Reed is someone who takes huge amounts of money from the big banks, including Fannie Mae, while at the same time voting to de-regulate those same banks through the elimination of the Glass Stegal Act, which contributed GREATLY to the current and future mortgage crisis. Reed is also someone who has voted to fund the war many times. Reed has Picerne Military Housing as one of his top campaign contributors, which is especially intersting because Reed sits on the senate's military housing committee that gives out those contracts. Guess who got seven of those military housing contracts? Hint: Picerne Military Housing. I wonder if Picerne Military Housing has an interest in a continued war in Iraq and/or a future war with Iran, seeing as without a war that would be no much less need for military housing? I wonder what interest the big banks might have, those same banks that Jack Reed takes his money from, those same banks who profit off of the increased national debt that results from the war? These are just a few of the many reasons I do not like Jack Reed, another being that Jack Reed has a ZERO rating with the Christian Coalition on family issues. I will be voting for Christopher Young this September for US Senate in Rhode Island and I urge others to wake up and do the same.

    July 30, 2008 3:44 PM
  • Ian Donnis said:

    You'll get no argument from me that the overwhelming influence of money in politics is a serious and pervasive problem -- and I've written about that. About Christopher Young, well, that's another story.  

    July 31, 2008 11:01 AM
  • Alarmed Rhode Islander said:

    So you're willing to bring up corruption when it doesn't really shake things up or make waves or get you in trouble, and you basically want to keep the status quo. That's what you're saying if you don't respect and support Chris Young, because Young is the only one with the courage and intelligence to understand and unroot the real causes of the corruption and the problems we face, and he is the only hope we have for changing Rhode Island.

    August 2, 2008 4:34 PM
  • Ian Donnis said:

    Your words speak for themselves.

    August 4, 2008 12:28 PM
  • Alarmed Rhode Islander said:

    YOUR words speak for themselves, and you are a coward for not writing any articles on Chris Young.

    August 4, 2008 5:21 PM
  • Ian Donnis said:

    It would help if Chris returned the call when he gets one from a reporter.

    August 5, 2008 11:35 AM
  • Alarmed Rhode Islander said:

    I went to Chris Young's website WhereToVote.com and got his phone number. I called him and asked him if you called ,and he said you never called him and that any story you've ever done where he was mentioned you attacked him. He said he would love it if you would do a story on him, and his phone number is 477-6178. He said he will tell me if you ever call him, and I'll post on here if you ever do call him. You should be honored to be able to talk to him.  

    August 5, 2008 5:40 PM
  • Ian Donnis said:

    On Monday, I left a message on the phone number on Chris's Web site. I have not yet heard back from him.

    August 6, 2008 1:45 PM
  • Alarmed Rhode Islander said:

    Chris Young said that he definitely did not get a call from you. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you must have dialed the wrong number. Try him again: the number on his website is 401-477-6178.

    August 7, 2008 2:10 PM
  • Alarmed Rhode Island said:

    Ian, you are pathetic, weasly liar.

    August 20, 2008 4:08 PM
  • Ian Donnis said:

    You have no basis to call me a liar, because you were not in the room when I heard Chris, heard his voice message, and left a message asking him to call me back. You should also have the courage to identify yourself if you want to cast aspersions.

    August 22, 2008 1:56 PM
  • Christopher Young said:

    Mr. Donnis, you seem to have an interest in speaking about me online, so I thought I'd join in the fray. You have never called me and left a message for me. You may have called and hung up to make it look like you called me. I agree with Alarmed Rhode Islander, you ARE a liar and a coward. I've decided to run as a write-in candidate, so if you are able to summon up the courage, my number is 477-6178.

    Your readers will see if you ever write an article on my candidacy. You won't. You haven't in the seven years that I've run. You are not a journalist. You are paid by strip club advertisers. Many people these strip clubs are owned by the same politicians that you say nice things about. That's why less and less people read your paper.

    You have the capability of writing an article without speaking to me, so don't use your not contacting me as an excuse. There's plenty of information on website, WhereToVote.com, for you to write about. Your readers will see that you STILL will not write an article on my candidacy, because you are a sniveling little coward who does his best to tow the line and contribute to the destruction of the free press.

    Good day, sir!

    September 12, 2008 12:57 PM
  • Ian Donnis said:

    Chris, I in reporting my cover story a while back on Jack Reed -- in which you and some of your views are described -- I called the number on your Web site, heard your voice greeting, and left a message asking you to call me. I did not hear back from you.

    September 13, 2008 12:41 PM

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