Gay Alaskans Topple Palin

Despite her being the prettiest vice-presidential candidate in American history since John Edwards, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin has yet to win affection from the lesbian community. And here’s the real surprise: she doesn’t care much for them either.  

According to a press release from Alaskans Together for Equality, gay rights advocates were “heartened” that, in this past week’s vice-presidential debate, Palin called for tolerance regarding “adults in America choosing their partners [and] choosing relationships that they deem best for themselves.” They were so enthralled, in fact, that they asked her to formally acknowledge National Coming Out Day.

Palin not-so-respectfully declined, stating: “I’d rather see my slut daughter get inseminated by a pot smoking degenerate Democrat than acknowledge lesbian and gay rights.” Well, not exactly, but she did manage to insult some folks by remaining silent.

“We were asking the Governor to acknowledge and recognize the dignity of openly-gay Alaskans,” said Alaskans Together President Marsha Buck, who pointed out that this year Palin already proclaimed “Careers in Construction Week,” “10^th Annual Christian Heritage Week,” “Alaska Taiwan Friendship Week,” and “Breastfeeding Awareness Month.”       

Props to Alaskans Together for further reminding us of what a hateful goon Sarah Palin is, but if Republicans start jokingly referring to each other as “Gay Alaskans” around the country club locker room, don’t say you didn’t bring it on yourself.