Dispatch From The Delusional Chuck Turner's Latest Press Conference

Chuck Turner didn’t call this morning’s press conference at his Dudley Square district office to talk about media harassment, like he did this past Monday outside City Hall. Instead, he came “to talk about media incompetence.”

But before he got to spanking those of us who have been reaming him in editorials, Turner reiterated his innocence: “I don’t have the slightest fear that I’ll spend one day in jail,” he said. Luckily, unlike FBI agents, his constituents don’t mind being lied to.  

In an effort to project more negative thoughts into your mind, as Turner suggests is my mission as a servant of my boss/editor/oppressor, I’ll address some statements that the councilor dropped this morning.

In a moment of profound bullshit, Turner said: “There have been no media stories regarding the relationship between the development of the Boston Workers Alliance (BWA) and my office.” Great point – unless, of course, you consider this Globe article, this Bay State Banner piece, or this Herald profile (which was generously written at the onset of Turner’s alleged media trial).

As for coverage of Turner’s initiatives – most specifically CORI reform – the councilor can simply check right here on the BWA press page. Maybe he should be concerned about how much his issues have been covered instead of bitching about how he’s been ignored (which isn’t true either).

My other favorite punchline was: “What to me is truly fascinating is that the media has not produced one story on the fact that I am the only Boston City Councilor who in the modern era has maintained an office in the community.” Turner might have wanted to search Boston.com before belting that one; he would have found this, this, and this.

I can’t believe I’m defending Fox 25 News (which, for all you screaming Turner nuts out there, is different than Fox News, by the way), but on Monday night they ran this reel featuring several occasions on which they’ve covered the councilor. Turner’s wife, who he said this morning monitors newscasts for him, must have missed that one.

Of course, much like the way Turner’s supporters wouldn’t believe that he took a bribe if they were standing right there, I’m sure they’re unwilling to follow the above links and discover what a phoney their representative is. A sign hanging outside the District 7 office this morning revealed their mentality: “Chuck Turner is the Only Politician I’ve Ever Trusted.”

Near the end of his tirade, after blasting the media for not running with yesterday’s Ron Wilburn developments (even though he admitted that they did), Turner spoke about assembling a Boston Critical Thinkers Network in which operatives would scrutinize the media. You know – because members of the press are incapable of thinking critically.

While I have little doubt that such a network will never materialize into anything substantial, I will recommend that they begin by analyzing everything that Turner says during his latest crusade “to speak truth and justice.”

Also – on a side note – am I crazy or is it outrageously ironic to talk about critical thinking while standing next to a guy wearing a clerical collar? I can’t speak for my colleagues on this one, but NOBODY WHO BELIEVES IN JESUS CHRIST IS IN ANY POSITION TO TELL ME ABOUT CRITICAL THINKING!!!

Turner should have just pulled the race card; it would have been completely acceptable as long as Sal DiMasi remains the most powerful big dick swinger on Beacon Hill. Trust me – Boston’s thinking community is well aware that federal agents are targeting black politicians.

But pulling the media card is as ridiculous as it’s transparent. For one, the majority of his allegations are laughably unfounded. And for two, he’s just making himself look crazier than he did every time he dropped foreign policy gems at city council meetings.  

Turner initiated his press predicament before he was arrested, before he kicked us around City Hall Plaza, and before he defended Dianne Wilkerson (which he’s still doing). All we’ve ever had to do to make him look foolish was stick tape recorders in his face.