Slop Culture

April 22, 2008

Round Deux: Tila Tequila is still looking for "the one"
By Sharon Steel

I'm not very skilled at predicting things that could provide me with some form of material gain, like, say, the stock market. And I'm no fortune teller -- try as I did to memorize the palm-reading gift book I picked up in the Occult section of Barnes & Noble when I was 13, I don't have a fucking clue about my own future, and even less of an inkling about those who let me stare at the lines on their hands.

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Celebrity, Comedy, Coupled Up

April 10, 2008

Mazel Tov, Ashlee and Pete!
By Sharon Steel
OMGOD I love them! Ashlee and Pete are going to become one in holy matrimony pretty soon. Hurrah!

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Coupled Up, Getting Hitched, Totally

April 02, 2008

Madonna reborn as a lollipop
By eldean

I'm sure there is a point to the launch site of Madonna's new music video 4 Minutes, featuring Justin Timberlake... I'm not sure what it is. An obsession with the number 4? Out-of-season hard candy? And lots of annoying tick-tocking?

Madonna's new vid will debut on 04.04 at 4:44pm here

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Poo

March 20, 2008

The HIlls: Audrina gets naked and looks holy at the same time
By eldean

In the church of bubble bath

Here's the story: she was 19! innocent! unassuming! didn't know WHO to trust! But she also wanted to maybe, be in Playboy! Oh Audrina, what a silly soul!

And more importantly, what will Lauren think? That orange cowboy hat is hideous.

Locally posted NSFW pics here. Those faces.

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March 13, 2008

High School Confidential
By eldean

On the eve of Juno, WE tries to shock us with horror-REAL-LIFE-high-school stories, documented by single mother and corporate marketer Sharon Liese.

Among the usual OMG!/WTF!-yes-high-schoolers-do-give-blow-jobs banter, there are some less titillating and more REAL moments: brain tumors, abortion, and what I can only think to call "underage marriage" to a young man in the military.

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March 03, 2008

The perfect storm: Britney Spears and Heidi Montag
By eldean

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

THE POP CUTLURE APOCOLYPSE: A Britney Spears/Heidi Montag duet just premiered on Ryan Seacrest's talk show. The song is called "Dramatic" and may be part of a forthcoming Britney Spears - Duets album — BUT it sounds more like a solo from someone, breathlessly, trying to be Britney Spears.

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February 29, 2008

WTF fashion photo
By eldean

NO!

New 3-D fashion from Victor & Rolf. Hmm, no, I think.

No, no way.

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February 28, 2008

Quarterlife Web cam crisis ***CANCELLED***
By eldean

Boo hoo, Web cam

We blog to exist. This is the premise (blargh) of NBC's new Web-to-TV series Quarterlife, as pontificated by pale and dreary blogger/protagonist Dylan Kreiger (played by Bitsie Tulloch).

Already, New York Magazine has written upwards of five articles about Quarterlife (from the co-creators of My So-Called Life).

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February 22, 2008

Better than Ze Hills trailer
By eldean

Amazing, heart-breaking, heart-wrenching, Sex and the City Movie Trailer. (Aside from the cheap joke about Miranda's pubic hair.) Poor Miranda! If Steve cheats on her I will die, worse, I die and will never believe in true love between two TV-show characters again. OH, pools of sadness.

Check out my mini ode to Sex-and-the-City designer Patricia Field below...

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February 21, 2008

ScarJo does moko
By eldean

Normal.

Yikes! What's that on her arm?

Pics are from London premiere of ScarJo's film "The Other Boleyn Girl". ScarJo's tattoo could be fake. These are real.

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February 21, 2008

Ze Hills pre-view!
By eldean
Zoot alors!
Zis pre-view looks so good! Ze drama! Ze passions! Ze trés big bows on ze back of ze purples coats!

And, ze FREEEENCH men! Trés mignon! (you know, very cute):

FRENCH MAN: "ZO WE ARE IN PARIS!"

LO-REN: "YAY!"

FRENCH MAN: "LO-REN AVE YOU SEEN ZE EIFFEL TOWAIR?"

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February 19, 2008

Hollywood power couple time

By eldean

Swoon

The girls look smitten at the Berlin premiere of The Other Boleyn Girl, right before they sort of make out. It doesn't happen until the end of the Today Show clip above, but Johansson almost looks like she is going to topple out of her chair with %100 percent pure love for her petite, co-star Portman.

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February 19, 2008

Spencer Pratt: "When people hear what we have in the bank, it's gonna blow their minds."

By webteam

Heidi Montag admitted she sobbed herself to slumber after her atrocious musical video first debuted on La Internets. But Spencer Pratt's confidence in her talent must provide a wonderful sense of comfort and security. It's always nice to support your significant other in their botched endeavors toward stolen fame.

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February 19, 2008

Lindsay Lohan la nude

By eldean

To be La Lohan…

Psh, I think it would be terrible. What a basket case, what a hooch, what a boooob. It’s really the latter the latest issue of New York Magazine is concerned with: Lindsay Lohan’s breasts. How are you today girls? Just checking in! Hello, breast one! Hello, breast two! It’s a nice day inside this pervy photo shoot, isn’t it?

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February 15, 2008

27 heads on a dress

By eldean

There aren't quite twenty seven heads here. But hopefully you get the idea. (The hair is not photoshopped.)

Ms. Biel has basically taken my heart and any semblance of a semblance of truest love and smashed it on the red carpet. She also bleached her hair, wtf!!?? So, when or if Justin proposes to her, expect a really wretched picture of her on here (she could be a totally cool, normalish girl) but I secretly hope she really stinks.

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