We put a comic on the hot seat. This week's victim . . .
By SARA FAITH ALTERMAN | November 25, 2008
What would you do with a basket full of onions?
I'd eat 'em in the morning and I'd eat 'em in the evening all over this land. Y'all know that the Pilgrims thought cleanliness was next to Godliness. Onions was after that.Who's cuter: your sixth-grade math teacher or Ted Stevens?
I was pretty sure a paper like this would ask some kinda homosexual question, being in Massachusetts and named after a Henry Potter book. Ted Stevens was framed, my sixth-grade math teacher was my deacon, and I ain't gay.
Finish this sentence: "If I had a hammer, i'd ____."
I'd build a jail to put Pete Seeger and all his Commie songwriting friends in. All them socialists continue to corrupt our youth with songs about drug-taking dragons and "peace." That's why I voted for Alan Keyes! He don't stand for folk songs.
What's your secret to such shiny, fluffy hair?
I got the hair that God gave me, and like my daddy always said, "Keep it short; keep it long." And Pert Plus.
Alternative sources of energy. Any ideas?
Why do we need that? Gas is cheap again!
Godly Thanksgiving Show with Billy Bob Neck | ImprovBoston, Cambridge | November 29 at 9:30 pm | 617.576.1253 orwww.improvboston.com
Related:
Half-baked Alaska, Interview: Jonathan Katz, Unfinished business, More 
- Half-baked Alaska
Until a couple months ago, did the state of Alaska ever cross your radar? Its chief exports were cute polar-bear screen savers and Northern Exposure .
- Interview: Jonathan Katz
The moment I step into the Newton home / sound studio of comedian Jonathan Katz, he warns me that he's a show-off and invites me to admire his kitchen.
- Unfinished business
The sleazy backroom deal engineered by Congressman Don Young and Senator Ted Stevens to kill the proposed 130-turbine wind farm in Nantucket Sound would do more than scuttle visionary plans to build the nation’s first offshore wind farm.
- From the Web to the Workplace
Nearly nine percent of the Massachusetts workforce is unemployed this summer, and with local colleges cranking out a glut of degree recipients in a lousy job market, many of them are inevitably lounging around on futons, blogging and posting on Facebook walls in between job applications.
- Prison activist: Board chairman wrong
I just finished reading the letter from Jon Wilson. Mr. Tapley was correct, the Board of Visitors is not living up to its mandate to represent the public's concerns about the Maine State Prison, nor is it minimally accountable in that it never filed an annual report until provoked by the scrutiny of Mr. Tapley's investigative journalism.
- Doom predictions
Plenty of seemingly unemployable people manage to make decent livings even though they're consistently wrong.
- Sotomayor's mixed message on free speech
Minutes after President Barack Obama announced that he was nominating appellate judge Sonia Sotomayor for the vacant seat on the Supreme Court, battle lines were drawn on the pre-scripted questions of "post-racial" America.
- Playing with your food
In 1977, two food-loving childhood friends named Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield signed up for a $5 Penn State correspondence course in ice-cream making, just for the hell of it.
- A taste of Piattini
We’ll take the Class in a Glass series at Piattini over traditional adult education anytime.
- Lender bending
It should come as little surprise that financial institutions resort to heavy-handed and ethically shady tactics to increase their share of the student-loan business.
- Tiger balm
Here’s a sunny movie-world tale.
- Less
Topics:
Comedy
, Media, Education, Elementary and High School Education, More
, Media, Education, Elementary and High School Education, Books, Elementary Education, Ted Stevens, Ted Stevens, Pete Seeger, Young Adult Books, Alan Keyes, Less
