Comparative burger eating

By BRIAN DUFF  |  November 21, 2012

Five Guys: you know it. It's Obama's favorite and Portland's too, based on the Phoenix's Best of Portland readers' poll. It is bright, red, and bustling and offers the best spectacle of the three — with piled-up bags of potatoes, a mult-cult kitchen, and tons of high school kids. The seeded bun is the most classic, and their burgers (also defaulted as a double) have a bit more char and grease than Elevation, and a touch more gristle. They are very satisfying. The fries are a slightly thicker, and are served in a huge size that should be shared.

Five Guys was started by a group of brothers who didn't want to go to college. After bad burgers, college debt might be our nation's biggest problem, and the only answer is to inflate the currency. We all have negative money, so let's make money worth less. It's that simple. Sure that's bad for the Bain guys, but hey. So let's get used to paying more for stuff, which will help us all in the long run. Here in Portland, burgers are not a bad place to start.

$ | THE LOFT: PORTLAND'S BURGER HOUSE | 865 Forest Ave, Portland | 207.541.9045

$ | ELEVATION BURGER | 85 Western Ave, South Portland | 207.899.0406

$ | FIVE GUYS BURGERS AND FRIES | 425 Fore St, Portland | 207.541.9275

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