The hot port at River Gods |
Seen through the right lens, Christmas looks like a season of devilish malevolence — a time of gloomy cold, bad movies, gift anxiety and consumer hoards, inane music repeated indefinitely, and family, hour after hour, day after chatty day. All of this moves parallel to a forced sense of glee that runs so deep through the holiday season that drinking becomes less of an option and more of a Christmas tradition, like sitting in those Sharper Image massage chairs you’re never going to buy.
Instead of firing up a computer and googling “Christmas drinks,” I decided to grab a friend and do some lips-to-glass research: five bars — three upscale cocktailing, and two of the proletariat — to find what Boston’s bartenders have to offer for holiday-suited drinks. The guidelines were simple: two drinks at each bar that “make you think of Christmas.” They could be shots, mixed, beer, or wine, and could evoke the holidays any way imaginable. The only rule: no eggnog. Too easy.
Drink, Boston
Misty Kalkofen
1) Untitled Apple Pie Drink
2 oz. Laird’s Apple Brandy
1/2 oz. St. Elizabeth’s Allspice Dram
1/2 oz. lemon juice
1/2 oz. honey syrup
Shake, strain into martini glass, and dust with nutmeg.
This drink is like a more alcoholic version of mulled apple cider, especially useful for those with an aversion to bourbon. Inexpensive and uncomplicated for the do-it-yourself industrialists, the allspice, apple, honey, and nutmeg flavors work fairly obviously together, and the lemon cuts the sweetness to make the drink good for before or after Christmas dinner.
Bartender’s explanation “It’s got that baked-apple-pie thing.”
My companion’s reaction “Drinking this makes me wish it was snowing outside.”
2) Untitled Smokey Bourbon Drink
1/8 oz. Famous Grouse Scotch
2 oz. Old Fitzgerald Bourbon
1/2 oz. Punt e Mes
1/2 oz. Bénédictine
Pour 1/8 oz. Famous Grouse Scotch into a martini glass, and empty while spinning the glass so the Scotch coats the inside. Shake other ingredients and strain into the glass.
Punt e Mes is an Italian red vermouth, which combines with the bourbon to make a Manhattan base. The Bénédictine (a sweet liqueur with a recipe kept secret since 1510 by proud French monks) sweetens and deepens, and the Scotch rinse adds a lingering smokiness that makes sitting by a fire superfluous. This drink deserves a name. With a hint of smoke, a thorough smoothness, and an inner warmth that keeps going, it was the leading favorite of the night.
Bartender’s explanation “It’s got a smoky warmth that’s good for cold weather.”
My companion’s reaction “I want to take this drink home and fuck it.”
No. 9 Park, Boston
Matthew Scrage
3) Copenhagen
1-3/4 oz. Fighting Cock Kentucky Bourbon
1-3/4 oz. Rothman & Winter Orchard
Apricot Liqueur
1/2 oz. Gammeldansk Danish Bitters
Shake, strain into rocks glass.
Though it uses equal parts bourbon and apricot liqueur, the strength of the Fighting Cock (106 proof) makes bourbon the primary flavor. The apricot serves equally to soften it and add a surprisingly subtle fruitiness. Instead of tasting like fire, it tastes like warmth — great for soothing frayed Christmas nerves .
Bartender’s explanation “It’s a winter drink — warm, comforting.”
My companion’s reaction “This makes me think of oatmeal cookies and I have no idea why.”
4) Henry V Flip
2 oz. Landy VSOP Cognac
1/4 oz. St. Elizabeth’s Allspice Dram
1/2 oz. Chambord
1/2 oz. simple syrup
1 whole egg
Shake, strain into martini glass, and dust with nutmeg.
The Henry V Flip is an example of the miracle alchemy of mixology: it doesn’t taste like any of its ingredients, but rather takes their characters and makes them its own. Silky with egg, smooth with cognac, spicy with allspice, and sweet with liqueur, this is an outstandingly smooth cold-weather drink.
Bartender’s explanation “It’s like a liquid blanket.”
My companion’s reaction “This is good. It makes my lips sticky.”
Eastern Standard, Boston
Bob McCoy
5) Absinthe and Old Lace
1 oz. Beefeater Gin
1/2 oz. Kubler Absinthe
1/2 oz. Green Crème de Menthe
1/2 oz. cream
1/2 oz. simple syrup
dash: Bittermen’s Xocolatl Mole Bitters
1 egg white
Shake, strain into absinthe or
martini glass.
The Absinthe and Old Lace is a flapper drink and colored a bright, solid green for Christmas. It’s the opposite of the Henry V Flip in that you taste all the ingredients: the gin tastes like Christmas trees, the crème de menthe tastes like mint, the absinthe tastes like anise, with silkiness
offered by the egg and cream. It’s a bombardment of holiday flavors and the second egg tonight, which made us wonder aloud if one could exist entirely on Christmas drinks. Absinthe is 106 proof, however, and our subsequent inability to walk suggested this is not a feasible option.
Bartender’s explanation “Cold with a warming quality, the green color and juniper evokes pine.”
My companion’s reaction “Much like Christmas itself, I recognize that it’s good, but it’s going to be hard for me to finish.”
