10:50 pm. D-Tension is standing on the sidewalk outside Sangria’s holding two pizza boxes — and there’s not a pizza place in sight. I’m impressed. Los Wünder Twins must have magical powers: anyone who can time a bar crawl so perfectly that the delivery man will meet him on the street must have some supernatural juice.
11 pm. We’re loitering beside a barbed-wire chainlink fence in an alley next to Major’s Pub. The backdoor is open. From inside, DJ Gleek — named after the original Wonder Twins’ monkey sidekick — introduces them: “Los Wünder Twins Del Raaaaaap!” They amble in eating slices of pizza and grab two microphones set up next to a scratch-ticket machine in the back. They kick into “Drink Beer and Get Laid” — which, according to the song, are their main incentives for rapping. It’s particularly amusing coming from two guys with greasy mouthfuls of cheese.
11:06 pm. Next up is the pretty hilarious “MySpace Bitches,” downloadable on their MySpace site, about cruising on the social-networking site for girls. At one point, Effect namedrops MySpace founder Tom, which elicits cheers. D-Tension, with crust still folded in his fist, raps, “friend request Marybeth with a big chest . . . I investigate, but the pic’s a disgrace. Blackheads, bad hair. ..”
“Looks like a moustache, but I’m not quite sure . . . ,” Effect continues. “Two kids in the background she swears aren’t hers.”
“Yo, I hit ‘Deny’ when I saw the lazy eye,” D-Tension follows.
Misogyny is part of the schtick. The males in the audience love it; the women look uncomfortable. Effect ends with “You’re off my Top 8, bitch!”
11:15 pm. Last song is “Cul De Sac of Shattered Hopes,” which the crowd doesn’t seem to realize is about them. Somebody fixed the DVD player, so they debut “Ten Minutes,” which turns out to be a two-minute video about how they can’t, uh, finish when an unsuspecting cuckold is about to come home and find the Twins dogging his wife and teenage daughter — sort of like the Fat Boys doing “Trapped in the Closet.” Effect’s parents and sister are here wearing Los Wünder Twins T-shirts; they clap and beam proudly when the video ends.
2:29 am. I get a MySpace friend request from Effect. I accept the next morning. Hmm . . . were they singing about me?
On the Web
myspace.com/loswundertwinsdelrap
