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Wanna be startin’ something?

A five-step guide to being a new web millionaire
By BILL JENSEN  |  August 23, 2006

060825_millions_main1
Our five-step plan will get you this.
In 1899, Charles Duell, the head of the US patent office, sent a letter to President McKinley advising him to close the patent office since “everything that could be invented has been invented.” People love to spout this anecdote. That the letter (or the sentiments behind it) ever existed is up for grabs, but the story lingers because everyone likes to tell themselves that all the good ideas are not already taken.

If you’re kicking yourself for not being the lucky schmuck who came up with the Million Dollar Homepage, you need to stop. There’s an even better idea out there, and it’s floating in one of your heads. Here’s a step-by-step guide of how to get there.

1) Your idea needs two things: it must capture people’s imagination, and it must be incredibly simple. You need to get your brain on a different wavelength of thinking, conditioning it for that “no, duh!” moment. One guy remembers an old childhood game and trades a red paper clip for a house — you remember an old childhood game, like, say, asses-up handball, and turn it into an interactive wonderland! Forget about social networks or selling stuff and think more about quick usability. Someone goes to your site, looks around, posts a message or comment, and leaves. That’s what you need (just a million times over).

Now we’re going to stop right here, ’cause we know what you’re thinking. Marijuana may help you in research and development (and judging from all the crap on the Web, a lot of other people felt the same way too). Fine. But if you go this route, please keep a pad and pen with you at all times. Solutions to time travel and the cure for cancer are probably floating around in the ether, having escaped from a stoner’s brain as he switched gears mid-thought and started building a bong from a coconut.

2) Okay, you’ve got the idea, and it’s a good one. Go to a site like godaddy.com and register a URL. Once again, keep it simple. Oneredpaperclip.com. Younghotpaperclipteen.com. You can host the site for free at Google and Yahoo. (Or upgrade: create a homepage using some of their tools, find a friend with Dreamweaver, or buck up and learn html yourself.) But don’t get hung up on looks. Your site doesn’t have to be sophisticated — look at Jumptheshark.com. Jon Hein came up with the idea of asking people to vote on when certain TV shows reached their peaks, and then posted the results. The site looks like hell, but it works — and it was recently sold to TV Guide for a cool million.

3) You have the idea, secured the URL, built the site, and found a company to host it. Now you have to market it. Flood message boards and aggregators like Fark.com and Digg with your site. Drive-time morning DJs have four hours to fill, so flood them as well. Get your friends and family involved. Set up a blog on the site and write about your idea. Google loves blogs, and your site will start popping up in searches if you throw some useful words into your daily copy. “Svetlana,” “Real World,” “Naked,” “Lohan,” “Breasts,” and “Is Laguna Beach real” will all do the trick. And just by reading this, you’re one step ahead of the pack. If you decide to follow this plan and start something, send us an e-mail at letters@phx.com and we’ll toss you some publicity in a follow-up story.

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Related: Plunder, pillage, and profit, A fellow critic cops a plea, Inside the term-paper machine, More more >
  Topics: Lifestyle Features , Law, Intellectual Property, Patents
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