Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
My girlfriend of six months has what seems to be a huge crush on Hugh Grant. We are both 19. She has fan pictures and is always watching DVDs of his films. Although our relationship is great except for this, I am a little bit threatened. What should I do?
_Lennie in Warwick
Dear Lennie,
Do nothing. It is perfectly normal for women to find handsome movie stars attractive and even to fantasize about them. Everything is good? Well, that’s all you need to know. Chances are slim that she will move to England or that Hugh will come to the USA to run away with your gal.
Identity crisis
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I am very confused. I’m a 20-year-old woman and I grew up mostly around males. I feel like I understand males much more females. I frequently feel that I’m supposed to be a male. When I’m treated as a female, I often feel uncomfortable. I've thought about gender-reassignment surgery, but mostly I’m just kind of lost and out of place. Do you have any suggestions?
_Anonymous in Providence
Dear Anonymous,
Gender-reassignment is a very serious issue. I cannot tell from your letter if you are really a man trapped in a woman’s body. You need to discuss this with professionals who deal with gender-reassignment and then come to a decision.
Make a move
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I’ve been infatuated with a woman for about two years. I took her out once, but she had a boyfriend at the time. She’s single now and we see each other all the time. We chat and flirt, but there is always a bit of tension and tentativeness. I am very attracted to her, and she seems to study my every move. She laughs and jokes a lot, but also seems sincerely interested in me (I think). Is this sexual tension, is she not interested, or do we just not get along well?
_J.L., 23
Dear J.L.,
Lay your cards on the table. Ask her out. Let her know you are attracted to her and that you like her very much. If you don’t, you may regret it for years. This is the only way to find out for sure, and from what you tell me, it sounds very promising. Make the move.
Give the guy a break
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
When my boyfriend was single, he looked at porn a lot. Now that we are married, I thought he would stop, because he has me. Well, every night after I go to sleep, he stays up just to watch it on the computer. I have tried talking with him about this. I’ve also tried to watch it with him, but he tells me not to. You’re a guy — tell me what this is about.
_Lily
Dear Lily,
Is this causing any difficulties or problems in the marriage? If not, I’d suggest it is not too big a thing. Far more important is whether he is loving, a good husband, and a committed partner. You both need time for privacy and for being alone. As long as your relationship is strong, I would consider his interest in porn a minor issue.
Email the author
Dr. Lovemonkey: rudycheeks@prodigy.net.
