Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
My boyfriend gets very worked up whenever there is a Powerball drawing. We sit around and talk about what we’re going to do with the winnings. I guess that’s pretty typical, but when the drawing occurs and his number is not picked, he gets depressed for days. Is there some way I can get him to brighten up and not get so wrapped up in this?
_Realistic Gambler
Dear Realistic,
I’ll take it on faith that your boyfriend has heard of the concept of “mathematical probability.” In other words, the odds of winning Powerball are roughly equivalent to the odds of having a rhinoceros fall on your head while out for a stroll in mid-town Manhattan. Obviously, those odds improve if your stroll occurs in downtown Pawtucket, where there are roving bands of ragamuffins armed with giant slingshots, it is said, and a penchant for thievery at the local zoo
What can you do about someone who gives himself over to a fantasy? “I’ve called Bill Gates’s office 20 times and he hasn’t called back yet.” Continually point out to your boyfriend that life goes on and how plenty of fun things don’t require a pile of money. As soon as you remind him of this, it would be effective to rip off your clothes and seductively preen on the bed.
Distance = fonder?
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
My last two years at high school, I went steady with a guy who has gone out of state to college. While we continue to be a couple, our relationship has grown strained because of the distance and how we are living different lives. I’m going to college at home, and although we talk on the phone a few times a week and occasionally write to each other, I feel that we are growing apart.
Is there something I can do to keep the connection strong? Neither of us is going out with anyone else, but I keep thinking that this could happen. What can I do?
_Worried
Dear Worried,
Fearing that you could grow apart is natural, but it also might be natural to grow apart. The important thing is to not cling. Live your lives. Seek out and enjoy new experiences and new friends. Don’t let your fear that you may drift apart stunt your growth.
What happened in high school is past and you will both continue to change. You might want to stay together, but it is not a sure thing. Dr. Lovemonkey realizes this is not very reassuring, but as you both change and grow, you must be willing to take risks and be open to change.
Believe that if your commitment to each other is meant to be, you will both recognize this and things will work out. But also understand that what you once might have assumed may not be how things will work out. You’re both too young to rigidly plot your entire future.
Email the author
Dr Lovemonkey: rudycheeks@prodigy.net.
