Speaking of gruesome, we found an interesting video over at OddHobby.com — purveyors not just of an Addams Family snow globe ($14.95), but also something called Toad Sweat, which is apparently hot sauce for ice cream ($24.95). The film is called, quite simply, Hole in the Head ($19.99), and it’s a documentary about the practice of trepanation: the drilling of a hole — in one’s head — in order to facilitate a higher level of consciousness. But “be warned: this video contains graphic scenes of trepanation, including a scene in which a ‘witch doctor’ scrapes a hole through the skull of his patient with a tool made from a tin can. It’s gruesome!” Someone pass the eggnog.
And while we’re on the subject of skulls, where the hell can a guy get a mounted animal head these days? Why, over at ElPasoRugs.com, of course. There you can purchase a handsomely hung head of gin-u-wine Texas Longhorn ($1150), a Mexican fighting bull ($1150), or a big ass Buffalo ($1600). If those are a bit out of your price range, you can opt for a simple cow skull ($44), or a set of heavy-hanging “bullie bags.” (Three guesses what those are.)
But, really, how much use can you actually get from taxidermic steer testicles? Perhaps a more utilitarian gift is in order. The other day a box arrived at these offices containing a pretty decent looking black-hooded anorak. It was nice enough on its own: stylish, well-fitting, and sturdily constructed. It was only on closer inspection that we realized this was not just a coat but a way to “[empower] everyday music enthusiasts to seize control of their listening experience . . . [an] innovative union of fashion and technology.” Yes! Kenpo iPod Jacket allows you to access your iPod, secured snug and warm in an inside pocket, via play/pause, track forward, track back, and volume controls of a touch-sensitive “smart fabric” visible, ever so subtly on the sleeve. It’s perfect, in other words, for cold winter walks to work, or skiing and snowboarding. It’s available in a vast variety of surprisingly stylish styles (and prices) from kenpofashion.com.
A mounted animal head from ElPasoRugs.com |
For the lazy, vain, or insecure person in your life, there’s the Build-Your-Own Calendar available from the great Despair.com. Go online and choose the appropriate insulting bromide for every month — “AGONY: Not All Pain is Gain,” “LOSING: If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style” — and then custom choose mean-spirited motivators for any day on the calendar you’d like. (It’s $19.95 per calendar, 20 cents per custom calendar date).And, if the giftee plays her cards right, she can use her new calendar to schedule some special time wtih Vincent Gallo. You may remember recently when this paper reported that the Buffalo 66 and Brown Bunny director had taken out a side business selling stuff on his Web site, VGMerchandise.com. There, he hawks everything from a Gallo-autographed Charles Manson blow-up doll (sold out) to jackets adorned with homemade homages to the staunch conservative’s favorite GOP presidents.
