Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I have been straight all my life, but recently met someone of the same sex to whom I am incredibly attracted. My husband knows of and is supportive of my exploration, but is messing with this a wise idea?
_Bella
Dear Bella,
There is danger whenever a married person is “incredibly attracted to” another person (same or opposite sex) and decides to act on it. Don’t say you weren’t warned. As for your supportive husband, it sounds like he’s seen one too many porno films featuring threesomes. He may not be such a happy camper when his penis and emotions start working in conjunction with one another.
Flavor of the week
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
Does the type of food you eat affect the way you may taste to the opposite sex? I have heard that this can be a factor. As the theory goes, if a guy eats a lot of fruit, he may taste sweet, whereas if he drinks a lot of coffee, he may be bitter. Is this factual?
_Curious
Dear Curious,
While there might be a subtle change in taste due to diet, semen generally tastes like semen. As with paste, mayonnaise, and any number of substances with a similar consistency, some people love the taste, and some people hate it. The taste phenomenon is not just true for “the opposite sex,” but the same sex as well. Dr. Lovemonkey urges you not to consider semen a basic dietary staple, however. I’m sure you’re heard the old maxim, “man does not live by semen alone.” I encourage you to eat from all the basic food groups: pizza, beer, Twizzlers, and semen.
Old friends
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
A male friend who had been out of the picture for five or six years recently contacted my girlfriend. He found her e-mail address and started e-mailing her, and then they exchanged phone numbers and talked on the phone. She is now talking about flying out to visit him for a weekend. Should I be concerned? Obviously, I would not stop her from going, but this is a weird situation.
_A Little Concerned in Seekonk
Dear A,
I assume that your girlfriend’s friendship with this guy has always been platonic. It is not unusual for hetero people to have current friends or old friends, of the opposite sex, to whom they were once very close. Since she is thinking about visiting her old friend, your response should be to say, “Sure,” while betraying no sense of insecurity or concern. Insecurity is a big turnoff and you should trust her if she indicates that this is a platonic relationship.
Against the wall
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
My boyfriend was recently at a bachelor party with strippers. I have a huge problem with this and he knows it. Prior to the party, we agreed that he would just watch. One of his friends disrespected our agreement, and sent the girls over to him. They were able to back him up to wall before he could make them leave. I am still bothered by the whole thing. He won’t tell me who sent the girls over, and I am really mad about it. Do you think he should tell me? I just want to know which one of them can’t be trusted.
_L.D.
Dear L.D.,
Cease the investigation. Give this whole thing a rest. So, your boyfriend was backed up against the wall before he finally got the strippers to leave? In envisioning this scene, I don’t see your boyfriend in any sort of active role. He did nothing wrong. His friend who sent the strippers over was more of a practical joker and less an agent of Satan. Fuhgeddaboutit.
Send questions and romantic quandaries to rudycheeks@prodigy.net.
