Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
Would it be crazy to go to California to meet someone I have only met online? I live here in New England and have been chatting with this woman for some time. She and I just seem to hit it off. She has invited me, and I’m really tempted to go, just to check things out. What do you think?
_Kathy
Dear Kathy,
If you have a good attitude about it, there should be no problem. You will be fine if you go with the view that it’s an adventure, and don’t have any great expectation that some kind of romantic event will actually take place. Just use the reasonable caution that goes with traveling alone. Go and have fun. Think of this as a vacation in which you will be meeting someone you have (almost) just met. Also, remember that you are in control.
Wavering will
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I’m a 21-year-old woman and have always been attracted to older men. In the past few months, I have been spending time at work with a 47-year-old co-worker who I find very attractive. He has been married for 20 years and has a couple of kids. He has not propositioned me or anything, but I know that he is interested. We have been discussing sex lately, and I notice that he gets an erection when we do this. He has also told me that his marriage isn’t very good and that he is bored with sex with his wife. I would like to have sex with him, but I do have certain moral reservations because he is married. I’m afraid, however, that I might do it anyway if it comes up. Can you help me with this?
_D.K.
Dear D.K.,
Beyond the moral objections, do you actually think that this guy hasn’t done this with other women, particularly young, vulnerable women? If you think it’s worth damaging a number of lives to have a little bit of sexual fulfillment, go ahead. Dr. Lovemonkey says that nothing good, and quite a few very bad things, can come from this.
No nookie
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I recently met this guy. We are both 23. I told him I’d been giving it a lot of thought and explained that I intend to stay a virgin until I find the one and we are married. I am quite serious about this, but it discouraged this guy. He has seemed much more half-hearted about things and none too enthusiastic when we talk, which isn’t as often as we used to. Do you think I will be a pariah and that nobody will want to get involved with me because of my stand on pre-marital sex?
_Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Undoubtedly, most people you meet will not be inclined toward your perspective on pre-marital sex. But there are people out there who will respect and admire your position, and you would certainly want to be with someone of that ilk. It is a bit more difficult when one has high standards, but it can also be a lot more rewarding. Good luck.
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Rudy Cheeks: rudycheeks@prodigy.net
