Picture imperfect
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
My boyfriend has done photography, specifically nude photography, as a hobby for years before he met me. He frequently does these photos for women who want to give them as gifts to their boyfriends, or for others who are putting together a modeling portfolio. He’s told me that he had intimate relations with some of these women. When we first got together, he said he would stop doing the photography and he did. A few months back, after we had a brief separation, he said he intended to go back to doing the photography. I told him that this would be okay, as long as I could be present during the sessions. This, he said, wouldn’t do, because, “Nude models need to be alone with the photographers, so that they will feel at ease.” Am I asking for too much here?
_Lesley
Dear Lesley,
Dr. Lovemonkey assumes that your boyfriend introduced the idea that you are “asking for too much.” Of course, he’s planning to make the beast with two backs with some of his “models.” Make of it what you will, but that’s the Lovemonkey take on the situation. I would suggest that you dump this guy, because he’s not interested in monogamy.
Hell hath no fury
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
My boyfriend’s former girlfriend is driving us both crazy! During their relationship, she kept yanking him around, breaking up with him, going back, etc. Finally, they split for good and we starting seeing each other. This prompted her to call him, cry, and beg for him to take her back. He firmly told her no, that our relationship is important to him, that it was over between them, and they could just remain friends. While the tears and begging have ended (she’s now seeing someone herself), she still calls and inquires about our relationship. How can we get rid of her?
_Fed Up
Dear Fed,
You’ve got to talk to your boyfriend. The first thing to discuss is how not all (in fact most) past romantic relationships do not easily transition into friendships. In this case, the disruptive behavior exhibited by the ex-girlfriend suggests she will never be able to be a friend. So he should tell her to get lost the next time she calls. You should also let him know how upset this has made you. You’re in this together. If you are both committed to the relationship, this negative experience may be turned into a positive that will solidify your relationship.
Sad sack
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
My wife is constantly complaining that my penis is not big enough to satisfy her. She goes out with other men, because she says they can get the job done. She tells me that I need to compensate somehow, but will not give me any hint as to how. She says degrading things to me, and when I tell her that I really would like to please her, she laughs at me. Any suggestions as to what I can do?
_Humiliated
Dear Humiliated,
You might go for the last -ditch counseling session, but I suspect that this is over. She is a disrespectful and nasty piece of business. Get the hell out of there.
Email the author
Rudy Cheeks: rudycheeks@prodigy.net
