Just grow up
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
Just last week I was reading a commentary decrying the continued use of the words “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” when the people in question are obviously adults, and should not be considered “boys” or “girls.” I have noticed many times in this column (and in many other places, in virtually all print publications) the use of the words “boyfriend” and “girlfriend.” What do you intend to do about this?
_One Adult Woman
Dear One,
Dr. Lovemonkey read the commentary you speak of (“Guys and Dolls,” Providence Phoenix, June 1). It was written by Brian C. Jones, a writer and reporter greatly admired by his peers and colleagues. Mr. Jones is absolutely right. As he pointed out, “To refer to unmarried adults as ‘girlfriends’ or ‘boyfriends’ belittles the nature of a mature relationship.” Dr. Lovemonkey is guilty of using these unfortunate locutions and will try to avoid using them in the future. In the meantime, this will require a bit more editing of readers’ transmissions, as they have a tendency to use this designation regularly. So this will be a work in progress.
Mistaken identity
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I've been in a one-and-a-half-year relationship with a man I met online. He’s 30 going on 50, and I’m 49 going on 30. I guess that’s why we seem to get along so well. We click on many levels. We work nights, so I’m able to see him during the day. I don’t see him on the weekends. I’ve never been to his home. At times, these have been concerns, but not enough to investigate him. By sheer accident, about a week ago, his wallet dropped out of his pants while he was in our bathroom. He had already left, and just to confirm that it was his wallet, I opened it and found his driver’s license. The name that I’ve known him by for all this time is not his real name. The thing is, we get along great, and I’d hate to end our relationship, but I am concerned.
_Concerned
Dear Concerned,
Some guy that you have been intimately involved with for more than a year is using a fake name? That’s one big, bad red flag to Dr. Lovemonkey. The only thing left to do, if you think this relationship can be salvaged (Dr. Lovemonkey is skeptical), is to ask him right up front what the deal is. If he doesn’t have a completely logical and reasonable answer, or if his answer leaves you with more questions, head for the hills.
Doggy style
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
My dog does not have the worst smelling breath in the world, but she does have sort of bad smelling breath. No one has complained about this, but I expect that, at some time, someone will. What should I do?
_E.S.
Dear E.S.,
You should go to a good search engine and type in “dog breath experts.” When you do, you will notice that Dr. Lovemonkey’s name is not among those listed. This is your first clue as to what not to do. You could take this one step farther by trying to avoid smelling your (or any other) dog’s breath.
Send questions and romantic quandaries to rudycheeks@prodigy.net.
