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Flushed away

Could be Verse: Poetry ripped straight from the headlines
By JAMES PARKER  |  June 20, 2007


VIDEO: James Parker reads "Flushed Away"

Lines Upon Hearing of the Systematic Theft by Persons Unknown of Certain Toilet Parts From Fast-Food Restaurants in the Town of Methuen

Flushometer, brains of the bathroom, flow-controlling flushometer,
The burglars are coming to carry you off like Perseus carried Andromeda. 
Their secret design is to stack and combine you: a toilet a mile high!
They know what they’re doing, out in Methuen, and the day of cleansing is nigh.

Related: Trash talk, Surprisingly good, ID Check: Louis Scheele, More more >
  Topics: Lifestyle Features , Culture and Lifestyle, Food and Cooking, Foods,  More more >
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ARTICLES BY JAMES PARKER
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  •   WHATCHAMACALLIT  |  October 15, 2009
    John Gardner, the great teacher and novelist who wrote approximately 413 books before annihilating himself on a motorcycle in 1982, was very big on vocabulary.
  •   CARNAL KNOWLEDGE  |  October 06, 2009
    When I interviewed Nick Cave for the Phoenix three years ago and he told me — drolly, languidly, literarily — that his next writing project was about “a sexually incontinent hand-cream salesman” on the south coast of England, I assumed he was taking the piss.
  •   ENGINE NOTES  |  May 05, 2009
    The big question with Top Gear, the popular British consumer-car show (in perpetual reruns on BBC America), is this: will it succeed in denting my colossal lack of curiosity about cars?
  •   INTERVIEW: ZACK SNYDER OF WATCHMEN  |  March 04, 2009
    "Every movie I've made, starting with Dawn of the Dead, has been, like, death threats."
  •   DIRTY DEMOCRACY  |  December 17, 2008
    Breathe deep, politics fans. What is that odor?

 See all articles by: JAMES PARKER

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