Valley of the dolls: Is the new Ken gay?
By MICHAEL BRONSKI | February 21, 2006
While social conservatives fret over Brokeback Mountain, they seem to be ignoring an even larger threat to the American family. Is it Internet porn? Guns in schools? Cheap, affordable marijuana?
No — it’s the repackaged, redesigned Ken. At the American International Toy Fair in New York this past Sunday, Barbie’s old flame was presented to a whole new generation of American girls and ... let’s just say that he is no longer the all-American boy.
Quick back story: Barbie and Ken have been together since 1961. They dated happily until February 11, 2004, when Barbie broke off the relationship so both could have “quality time — apart” (a move undoubtedly prompted as much by Mattel, worried about plummeting sales, as by Barbie’s heart). Barbie began a two-year flirtation with Blaine — an Australian surfer dude. Ken went to Europe to find himself and now he’s back. And it looks like he’s been vacationing with the cast of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, just that side of looking metrosexual. Oh, all right. He looks gay.
The new Ken is all about rejecting traditional masculinity. According to Mattel, while in Europe Ken dabbled in Buddhism and Catholicism, taught himself how to cook, and now listens to Norah Jones. (Ken’s former musical tastes are unknown — probably old Pat Boone 45s.) His primary-color T-shirts and baggy swim trunks have been replaced with cargo pants, a fitted suit with peak lapels, and a motorcycle jacket. His new hairdo is very gay-sweater-bar-circa-1978.
This may be all about marketing ... but marketing what? Is Mattel going to come out with a “new” Barbie to replace California Barbie of two years ago? Will she be Fag-Hag Barbie? Maybe it’s time. Barbie’s looking pretty tacky these days. Maybe she needs a gay best friend to, uh, advise her.
Well, it could have been worse. Ken could have gone out West to herd sheep and come back with that squinty-eyed butch look and a Stetson, explaining to Barbie that for the past two years he’s been off fishing with a friend.
Topics:
Lifestyle Features
, Norah Jones, Pat Boone
