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America Blows

By MIKE MILIARD  |  June 29, 2007

Just don’t put too much faith in the bands of this land. “I think all the British bands are gonna win,” confides Dakin. “Look at Radiohead vs. Nirvana. . . . I think Radiohead is gonna win. I think all the American bands are gonna get hit.” He has a point. Not to mention that many of the decent American acts these days take their inspiration from elsewhere. Interpol? Joy Division redux. The Killers? New Order all over again (with a soupçon of Springsteen).

“I was looking at the FNX playlist,” says Dakin, “and basically every band we play — of the new bands — are either from Europe, or sound like bands in the ’80s from Europe, or are the White Stripes.” Icky.

Remember, back in the day, all those beloved American regional scenes? There was Motown, of course, and Haight-Ashbury in the ’60s. The Philadelphia Sound of the ’70s. In the ’80s, there were indie hotbeds in Athens and Boston and Minneapolis. Then came Seattle and Chapel Hill in the ’90s. Where have the big scenes been since Dubya took over? Sweden. Australia. Montreal.

Clearly, we sons and daughters of liberty have our work cut out for us. Even in genres we invented we’re getting our asses handed to us. Who was the winner in this year’s Phoenix/WFNX Best Music Poll national hip-hop category? Was it Nas? Ghostface? Lupe Fiasco? No. No. No. It was Lady Sovereign, a white, five-foot-tall MC from London, Enguhland.

No cleverer than a fifth grader, either
If you think our music is derivative, consider that our TV landscape would be all but decimated were it not for the fertile imaginations of Brits and Aussies.

Not that there aren’t exceptions. People are still talking about The Sopranos. That last scene inside Holsten’s — fraught with tension, rife with symbolism, packed with details echoing the Catholic Mass, DaVinci, and the Godfather — was the kind of television we almost never see anymore: a heart-stopping montage that subverts our expectations even as it blows our minds and leaves us chattering about it for weeks afterward. It was, in short, a fitting coda to a show New Republic critic Leon Wieseltier calls “so good it is almost not American.”

So what are we left with now for quality TV? Well, there’s The Office. It’s funny. Really funny. Mordantly, acerbically funny. And it’s based on a British television program.

At least it’s good. For every Office, there’s two or three Couplings or Men Behaving Badlys. In fact, these days it seems our TV choices are limited to little more than witless, watered-down reality shows invented across the pond: American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, Survivor, Big Brother, Hell’s Kitchen, Deal or No Deal, The Weakest Link, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, and on and on and on.

A show such as The Apprentice, which showcases those time-honored American virtues — brass-balled ambition, towering arrogance, and craven backstabbing, all in the pursuit of corporate power and piles of filthy lucre? It’s produced by Mark Burnett, an Australian. Even when this country does beat the odds and comes up with something relatively good on its own (Law and Order, CSI), viewers can expect to see 17 different spin-offs of the show next September.

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Comments
America Blows
Yeah, we do. This country needs a big slice of humble pie.
By Terry C on 06/28/2007 at 7:23:07
America Blows
Why wrap it into such a sports obsessed blanket when USA has always had HUGE issues whether it was at the top of the game or sliding down to post-imperialism. There have always been CRACKERS all over this country, and people like Norman Rockwell and Leroy Neiman to paint it, paint it over, and make it look nice. Who cares about "American Culture", we have 500 years of Jazz, ain't that enough beside some rubber ball game? INTETESTING INNOVATIVE CULTURE can come from anywhere and it ALWAYS is in favor of FREE EXPRESSION!
By less_than_spam on 06/28/2007 at 1:21:31
America Blows
Charlemagne, Quebec is just north of the 45th Parallel, not the 49th. Since a certain Texan took office in 2000, fact-checking by journalists has gone soft, both on the left and on the right.
By Jamaica Plainer on 07/02/2007 at 3:00:29
America Blows
At least Bowie got it right when he sang "I'm Afraid of Americans" God is American!
By Marcelle on 07/04/2007 at 10:50:38
America Blows
you totally miss the point of my comment on cackamasaurus. i do not hate european players. i hate the fact that flopping and faking is becoming all too common in the NBA and that the facist, suspension-happy mentality of david stern makes it impossible for players to "self-regulate" when the ethics of the game are at stake. as far as the rest of your comment goes, yao and dirk have basically proven themselves to be soft (what did their teams do this year?). in tennis, are you at all aware of women's tennis? and NASCAR can burn in hell as far as i's concerned (as are most americans).
By brasky on 10/08/2007 at 12:37:55

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