Family matters
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I am about to get married and the family of my fiancé (we have been together for three years) has never accepted me. In fact, they have been downright thoughtless. They don’t invite me to family functions, and they don’t make any attempt to get to know me, or to talk with me. My fiancé is fully aware of this, and he says that after we’re married, we don’t have to have anything to do with them. But I don’t believe this is a healthy thing for anyone (my fiancé, his family, or me). Do you have any thoughts on this?
_G.A.
Dear G.A.,
You are very wise to be concerned and to want to address this directly and as soon as possible. Despite your fiancé’s belief that he can deal with this fissure by avoiding it, this is his family and your soon-to-be your family, and this is not going to change. Since you have not expressed some major reason for this rift, Dr. Lovemonkey assumes it is something that can be mended. For everyone’s sake, this needs to be mended. Impress upon your fiancé how important it is to correct this. Let him know that this is a bad situation if you intend to have children. You’re right to want to address this, so go do it.
Not kidding
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I’ve been going out with a young woman for the past two years and we recently broke up. She has a five-year-old son, and we have gotten close. She won’t see me nor let me see her son again. I really miss seeing him and wonder what can be done about this.
_Terry
Dear Terry,
Nothing can be done about this. You are not this boy’s father. You were a guy who slept with his mother. Suck it up and walk away.
Bad boss
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
My boss (I’m the secretary) is going out of town for the weekend on a business trip. Instead of staying at a hotel, he is staying “with a friend” and he doesn’t want anyone to know about it. He’s asked me to handle all his calls (including those from his wife). He told me that this happens all the time in our company, but I am very uncomfortable and unhappy about the situation. I feel that I am being used.
_Not Part of the Job Description
Dear Not,
What is the name of this company, Adultery Unlimited? Of course, your boss is using you. You must explain to your boss how uncomfortable this makes you. At the same time, if you have a Human Resources department, you should discuss getting transferred to another position. Your boss has asked you to do something that is completely out-of-the question. If he took a little heat from his superiors, it would only be right. Of course, if he’s accurate in his description of the company as a place where this “happens all the time,” check to see if you have become trapped in a early 1960s Twilight Zone episode.
Send questions and romantic quandaries to rudycheeks@prodigy.net.
