Reason to be proud
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I am a divorced mother of two boys, 17 and six, from different fathers. My first husband died in an automobile accident, and I am divorced from my second. It was not amicable, he has since disappeared, and I have no way of knowing where he is. Recently, my youngest has been sick, and while he’ll recover, the cost of his ongoing treatment and medication exceed my health insurance coverage. My 17-year-old works after school and has paid for many of these things. He gave me a check that will go a long way toward paying for his brother’s medical bills. This check, however, will just about drain his college savings. My oldest is an honor student and he has some athletic and academic scholarships. This would have been his spending money for next year. He wants me to take it, but I feel terrible about doing so. What should I do?
_Guilty Mom
Dear Guilty,
You should be eternally grateful that you have a son who has already learned things that most people with college degrees will never learn -- things having to do with values and what is really important in this world. Shake his hand for me.
Vanity not so far
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
My immediate department supervisor at work is self-centered and conceited. He only talks about himself and never listens to anyone else. Since he is so witty, people are initially spellbound by his conversation, but after a while it wears rather thin. He corners you and drones on and on for hours if he’s not stopped. Please, how can we stop him?
_Frustrated Worker
Dear Frustrated,
There are products, known as “rope” and “duct tape,” that when applied to your department supervisor can prevent him from engaging in the impromptu orations you describe. I must tell you, however, that taking such action comes under the category of “illegal,” and would probably constitute “assault,” and quite likely land you in the hoosegow. This would at least give you some relief from having to experience the boss in all his raging glory, but prison records can cramp one’s job prospects upon release. You might just have to put up with the asshole.
Milking the story
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I recently read of a fatwa issued by a lecturer at Al-Azhar University in Egypt. It supposedly said that work colleagues of the opposite sex can escape the ban on unmarried men and women being alone together, if the woman breast-fed her male colleague five times. The rationale was that breast-feeding established a maternal, rather than a sexual, relationship. Doesn’t this seem rather specious to you?
_Wondering
Dear Wondering,
Yes. But more importantly, let me introduce you to a recent fatwa issued by Dr. Lovemonkey, in which anyone named “Wondering” who sends me a letter is permanently banned from Nick-a-Nee’s.
Send questions and romantic quandaries to rudycheeks@prodigy.net.
