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Bat bummer

Could be verse: poetry ripped from the headlines
By JAMES PARKER  |  December 16, 2008

Lines upon learning that the actor Christian Bale, playing Batman in a new movie, has been unable to perform stunts in the waters of Hong Kong's Victoria Harbor due to high pollution levels

I, dark knight with pointy ears and look of stern reproof,
From thoughts of self-destruction have maintained myself aloof.
But now the lure of this black water draws me downward. Will I
Disintegrate in toxins? Or be nibbled by bacilli?
Six times I've saved this cracked old world, and what I long to do
Is dive down deep, dissolve myself, and drift out with the spew.

Related: Missing in action, The Prestige, 3:10 to Yuma, More more >
  Topics: Lifestyle Features , Celebrity News, Entertainment, Movie Stars,  More more >
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ARTICLES BY JAMES PARKER
Share this entry with Delicious
  •   WHATCHAMACALLIT  |  October 15, 2009
    John Gardner, the great teacher and novelist who wrote approximately 413 books before annihilating himself on a motorcycle in 1982, was very big on vocabulary.
  •   CARNAL KNOWLEDGE  |  October 06, 2009
    When I interviewed Nick Cave for the Phoenix three years ago and he told me — drolly, languidly, literarily — that his next writing project was about “a sexually incontinent hand-cream salesman” on the south coast of England, I assumed he was taking the piss.
  •   ENGINE NOTES  |  May 05, 2009
    The big question with Top Gear, the popular British consumer-car show (in perpetual reruns on BBC America), is this: will it succeed in denting my colossal lack of curiosity about cars?
  •   INTERVIEW: ZACK SNYDER OF WATCHMEN  |  March 04, 2009
    "Every movie I've made, starting with Dawn of the Dead, has been, like, death threats."
  •   DIRTY DEMOCRACY  |  December 17, 2008
    Breathe deep, politics fans. What is that odor?

 See all articles by: JAMES PARKER

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