Finding the princess in you amounts to taking a Disney-fied, saccharine version of a Jungian personality test. “Belle is more stylish, sophisticated — she’s book smart,” explains Paulette Cleghorn, the line’s head of sales and marketing. “She wants really nice fabric, she wants draping, she’s into that European flavor. Snow White is more demure and sweet. Jasmine’s more bohemian. She wants to have fun at her wedding. She’s got a great body and probably has a tattoo somewhere on her back!” The Ariel dress is a sleek fishtail cut that Cleghorn describes as “sultry and alluring,” while Cinderella and Aurora/Sleeping Beauty are somewhat less distinguishable: the former is classic glamour; the latter is “lovely and romantic.”
Disney is also making it possible for couples to plan their entire wedding based on Disney archetypes and fairy tales — essentially, the ultimate fantasy day. You can host your wedding at romantic locations at the Walt Disney World Resort or at Disneyland, or you can have a destination wedding on a Disney cruise line. If you didn’t get married at Disney World the first time around, you can renew your vows there. Or, you can treat yourself to a Disney honeymoon. The Disney wedding, however, is the bread-and-butter of festivities, an event that comes with seemingly endless customizable options.
Earlier this year, Disney hired celebrity party planner David Tutera to take the helm of Disney’s Couture Wedding Collection packages (see disneyweddings.go.com). The cheapest Disney wedding starts at around $4000, but if you want Tutera’s guidance, you must be prepared to spend a minimum of $75,000. Couples can choose from one of four themed packages, and can further tailor them by adding extras such as a $7000 orchestra or a 10-hour photography package ($5220). If you like, you can actually be Cinderella, and roll up to your nuptials in a coach pulled by six white ponies, guided by a driver and two footmen in “full regalia” ($2700).
And it doesn’t have to end with the reception. Jim Calhoun, head of Disney’s apparel line, has said that the company wants women “to have a little bit of princess every day.” So what does that mean? Well, in two months’ time, Kelly says, she’ll be able to discuss further plans for her line’s expansion. Right now, all she can say is that there will be some home pieces and more accessories, all “geared toward the idea of using the princess, who she is today, and developing out in a very luxurious way.”
I’m picturing Disney Princess engagement rings for the guy who is tapped in to his lady love’s needs; high-end décor and appliances — such as a Disney Princess canopy bed with 400-thread-count Princess sheets — for the Disney newlyweds; a Disney Princess Power Suit and a matching Princess “It” Bag for that great new job; and Disney Princess Bassinet for the Princess infant. Disney’s Fairy Tale Weddings is just one sect within the Princess mega-church.
You’re wearing who?!
Of course, being a Disney bride does carry certain, er, connotations. From a marketing perspective, there’s nothing wrong with dressing up reality as happy ever after — it’s cut-and-dry genius. But from a critic’s soapbox, there’s no logical reason for a grown woman to embrace a Disney delusion — never mind thread it into what are supposedly the most important moments of her life. One might assume that these women have no bullshit detector, that they really believe that a corporate version of princess glamour is the key to everlasting bliss.
