Sibling viewing
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I am a Caucasian, hetero 25-year-old woman who has been going out with a man for about two years. Our relationship is very good and getting better. Last week, however, amidst a conversation we were having about sex and porn videos, he revealed that he and his brother (who is a year older) regularly watch porn videos together. He says they’ve been doing this for years. Is it me or is this somehow weird and a little freaky? I couldn’t imagine watching porn with a sibling. He feels that this is perfectly normal and can’t understand why I’m a little freaked. Is this normal?
_E.C. in East Providence
Dear E.C.,
Dr. Lovemonkey has never really given the concept of “normal” much thought. I can tell you that different families have different dynamics. For people who are very close to their siblings and share lots of the intimate aspects of their lives, watching porn together does not sound unusual. If things are fine between you and your boyfriend, his watching porn with his brother does not seem very different from how they might get together to go to soccer matches or to see documentary films. I’d say fuhgeddaboutit.
Flip the virgin
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I’m a male junior in college. There’s a female student who I have gotten to know over the past year-and-a-half, and she is incredibly hot and still a virgin. She says she doesn’t believe that pre-marital sex is necessarily wrong, but she has a notion to remain a virgin until she finds the man with whom she wants to settle and marry. She’s not “saving herself for marriage” but thinks there aren’t any benefits from being sexually active before she’s “sure.” My perspective is this: not only is it beneficial to have some sexual experience (for her and her eventual life partner), but abstaining is an incredible waste of an absolutely great body. Is there some way I can convince her that having sex (with me) could be a very positive experience for both of us?
_Allan
Dear Allan,
You think a woman who is “hot” and has a great body should reject the notion of wanting her sexual experiences to be meaningful? This attitude convinces me that her strategy of delaying sex, and passing on available, casual rolls in the hay, is, indeed, a wise move. By not sleeping with you, she’s not missing a thing.
Butt buffet
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
My boyfriend recently read a story about Frank Sinatra eating breakfast off of the naked butt of a hooker (I think it was a hooker) in Las Vegas, back in the glory days of the Rat Pack. He is suggesting that we try this. On one level, it sounds like it might be a laugh, but the feminist in me says that this is more about the objectification of women, and that it sucks. Should we do this?
_Fun Feminist in Lincoln
Dear Fun,
If you and your boyfriend think that this might be fun, silly, or goofy, go ahead. The Sinatra tale is obviously one of exploitation and objectification of a woman. But if later you make him play a rocking chair for you, it’s okay.
Send questions and romantic quandaries to rudycheeks@cox.net.
