Not so bare
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
My unique sexual appetite surpasses anything that you have printed or are aware of. I am a very masculine, American-Italian and not one of those Federal Hill boneheads. I am educated, sane, and overt. There is a Web site, Bears in Lingerie, for those seeking a fetish outlet, and it should be viewed. I love wearing lingerie and panties. I wear panties under my Levis and business suits. My partner of long standing isn’t into it, and I have to seek others, with his consent, in this area. I do not want to be a drag queen or TV. I seek other masculine men. Can you print this? I know you know that I have the answers to my probing questions, but I want to enlighten you and your readers, and potential gay and married frustrated men, who are into this lingerie fetish with other men. Thanks.
_Raff
Dear Raff,
Dr. Lovemonkey was looking for the question here. Apparently, there is no question, and your missive is an attempt to alert and rally other “Bears in Lingerie.” There’s nothing wrong with that, but this column is not a recruiting center for people with interesting (or not so interesting) sexual practices. By the way, Raff, some of our readers might rightly take umbrage at your reference to “Federal Hill boneheads.” It is an unpleasant stereotype, inferring that people of a certain heritage and neighborhood are not “educated, sane, and overt.” You would be wrong about that.
Infectious thinking
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
My live-in boyfriend of the past three years has herpes. He told me about it when we got together and my ardor for him was such that I didn’t care. As time has gone on, I no longer want to perform oral sex or engage in any “risky” sexual activities with him. He thinks I am starting to get sexually boring, but I suspect that I resent how he has this disease. Do you have any suggestions?
_Feeling Dirty
Dear Feeling,
You and your significant other probably should have dealt with this situation long ago. Dr. Lovemonkey’s understanding is that about 25 percent of Americans have herpes. And those statistics do not count the many, many people who are unaware that they have herpes. So let’s just say that your boyfriend’s situation is not exactly uncommon. This is still the man with whom you fell in love. Herpes crops up in the genital area only on occasion. Talk to him and discuss how you’re feeling. Also, check in with your gynecologist. The doctor will have some ideas on how you can enjoy sex safely with your boyfriend. You can deal with this much more easily if you’re open and honest.
Bill of goods
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I’ve been having an ongoing debate with my longtime girlfriend and wonder what your thoughts are on this. She is of the belief that if we invite another couple out for a meal or drinks, we are obligated to pay. Is she right about this?
_Ron
Dear Ron,
Yes, according to standard etiquette, she is right about that. This is if you are “inviting” another couple out. If, however, you and another couple make plans to meet and have a meal or drinks, and one couple is not “inviting” the other couple, it’s Dutch treat. So, if you’re the cheapskate that you sound like, your challenge is to figure out how to make a suggestion without it being an “invitation.” Or, you could cut the shit and just pay.
Send questions and romantic quandaries torudycheeks@verizon.net.
