DATING DILEMMA NO. 2 Dating a dork: to geek or not to geek?
DATING DILEMMA SOLVED It’s always hard to see yourself dating someone other than your type. So I guess this quandary isn’t just about dating a geek if you’re, say, the star of the tennis team; it’s more about expanding your horizons and dating people who don’t fit the mold you’re used to. But for our purposes here, let’s call attention to college geeks . . . they’re probably the most underappreciated suitors out there (cue the resounding cheers from the MIT peeps).
Remember in Revenge of the Nerds when Betty Childs, the preternaturally gorgeous cheerleader, realizes post-coital bliss that the man in the mask who she’s just boned was not in fact her boyfriend, Stan Gable, but the nerd (Louis Skolnick) who’s been pining after her? Practically blushing from her orgasm, Betty asks Louis about his master foreplay skills. He responds: “All jocks think about is sports; all nerds think about is sex.” So next time a CGI Joe crosses your path, give him (or her) a chance, because once you peel away the layers of dweebism, you’ll not only discover a fascinating mind but a fantastic lover to boot. And, of course, you know what they say: today a geek; tomorrow a computer billionaire.
DATING DILEMMA NO. 3 Losing my virginity: to pop or not to pop the cherry?
DATING DILEMMA SOLVED We all know what the priests over at Boston College (and those Harvard celibacy kids) have to say about this one: abstinence does a body good.
But let’s face it: our hormones are raging by the time we head to college. If you didn’t already lose it on prom night, chances are your first time will be in a dorm room. If you do choose college to be the setting for your first roll in the hay, I say do it with a significant other or someone you’ve been dating for a little while. FYI, ladies — and possibly gay men (though I can’t vouch for the latter as I’m a straight woman) — your first time is not the most pleasant experience anyway. In fact, it’s going to hurt like a motherfucker (perhaps not the most appropriate word). So would you rather wince in pain with someone you trust and care about or with some random who you just did a keg stand next to? Lastly, one more piece of advice for the hymenally (or anally) challenged: regardless of who you give deflowering rights to, I’ve got one word of advice for you: KY (well, technically that’s two letters, but you get my drift).
DATING DILEMMA NO. 4 I just scored a date: to splurge or not to splurge?
DATING DILEMMA SOLVED Rumor has it that nowadays there is no such thing as dating in college (especially in the Northeast). But I don’t believe it. I happen to think male chivalry is alive and well, even right here in Beantown. And I happen to know female collegians still pine away for a little gallantry, despite their liberated, girl-power mindsets. So, all you tradition-minded boys out there, if you do decide to ask the object of your affection out on a date, you'll need to figure out a plan of action that requires something other than a case of Natty Light and an Xbox.
