Surely the über-rich students at Boston University, whose sartorial and automotive habits, I’m told, cost them more than the GDP of a third-world country, can afford to wine and dine their dates at a swanky spot on Newbury Street, but if you’re like 99 percent of the college population (swimming in loans or working your ass off at a low-paying campus job), you’ll need to figure out how to impress your lady without spending mucho dinero. And believe me: it’s quite an easy feat to achieve and will only cost you $53.
Show up at her door wearing your Sunday best. Present her with one single rose (sans thorns). To allay any nerves, take her to something funny, like the Improv Asylum in the North End (tickets are fairly cheap). Then, mosey on over to a takeout burrito joint in Back Bay. Get two to go and take a stroll down the Commonwealth Mall while scarfing ’em down (bonus points if you can explain the historical significance behind some of the statues). When you’ve both finished your burritos, reach out for her hand (make sure yours is salsa-free) and hold it for a minute or so. Then let go gently. Listen to her every word. By the end of the night, I’ve no doubt she’ll be saying yes to a second date.
There you have it: One thornless rose: $3; a few chuckles at the Improv Asylum: $40; two burritos to go: $10; the look on her face when you explain that the Commonwealth Mall was designed in a manner similar to Georges-Eugène Haussmann’s Paris boulevards (thanks, Wikipedia!): priceless.
Neely Steinberg can be reached atcomments@ordinarygal.com. When she’s not giving advice she can be found in the Commonwealth Mall, throwing burrito crumbs at the pigeons.
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