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A kiddie-diddling riddle

Dr Love Monkey

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Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
On my Facebook profile I have quite a few photographs of myself with an ex-boyfriend. Although we broke up more than a year ago, I never took the photos off the site. Meanwhile, I’ve been going with another guy. Although people have to search way, way back in my collection of photos (there are hundreds), friends of my boyfriend have asked me, “Hey, who’s that other guy in your old pictures?” This is really awkward. I don’t know if I should take the photos down and risk hurting the feelings of my ex (who I have stayed friendly with), or keep them there and figure out a better way to respond to friends of my boyfriend.
_Tara

Dear Tara,
The smoothest way to deal with this problem is to take down the photos. If your ex discovers that you have taken down the photos and seems miffed, tell him that you don’t want other people to assume that you are still together. This way, all the other woman who may want to pursue him can do so without restraint. On the other hand, perhaps you have discovered one of the not-so-little secrets about technology: everything you put up will be out there in cyber-world forever. When you post the picture of you in tie-dyed diapers, quaffing Pabst Blue Ribbon from a giant plastic trash can, assume that it will find its way to your future employer or in-laws. These embarrassing images are harder to erase than a tattoo on your butt proclaiming your love for Winona Ryder. In a universe where the Internet is ubiquitous, a little bit of prudence goes a long way.

What’s the problem?
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I am a 30-year-old gay man who has been going with my lover (also 30) for two years. On our second anniversary, he proposed that we get married. I told him that, while I loved him and was certainly leaning in that direction, I wasn’t willing to make that commitment. He was pretty disappointed, but said he would ask me again in another year. I do love him, and I’m so worried that I have done indelible damage by turning him down. I am really afraid that this will lead to a rift and then a break up and I want to be with him. Have I really screwed up or what?
_Dante L.

Dear Dante,
Not necessarily. It is very good that you take the commitment of marriage seriously and it is also good that he has not pulled back from you (you haven’t reported this, anyway) in his disappointment. But it seems to me that you are 30, not too young to consider this quite seriously. Give this serious consideration. Why is it that you are not willing to make this commitment? If you can see yourself with him forever, you should reconsider and say yes.

Hot debate
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
Do you think Sarah Palin is attractive? There is a big debate among many friends of mine. Some see her as really good looking, and others as an overdone extended member of a hillbilly clan. What’s interesting is that my friends hold a number of differing political positions and their differing political philosophies seem to have little impact on their attitudes toward her looks. What do you think?
_Westport Gang

Dear Westport,
I have no opinion as to Governor Palin’s attractiveness. I can tell you, however, that when I enter the voting both in November, I will be enthusiastically voting for Barack Obama and Joe Biden.

Send questions and romantic quandaries to rudycheeks@verizon.net.

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