SOMETIME SINNER
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I'm a 27-year-old heterosexual woman with a fiancee. We have been together for 11 months. Here's my story. We very much love each other. He is a Christian, but to me, his religious beliefs do not add up. He is not opposed to having sex on a regular basis (and we do) but recently, to save money, I made the decision to move to my sister's two-bedroom apartment. I told my fiancee that I would like him to move in with me. He wouldn't do it because "my religion tells me that it's wrong to 'live in sin.' " The fact that he won't move in is doing some damage to our ability to save money and plan for the future. We are both focused on a life together. But I'm having a problem with what I consider his ludicrous stance on the "living together" element. What do you think?
A Bit Irritated
Dear A Bit,
Obviously his notion that it's okay to be sexually active, but not to "live in sin," is ridiculous. By the way, if you are a believer, then we are all "living in sin," in the true meaning of the phrase. To cut through all the silliness, it is most likely that your fiancee is not moving in with you because he cannot confront his more devout parents with the fact that you're living together. He obviously hasn't shared with them the knowledge that you've been boning up a storm for some time. Don't be too harsh on the guy, but you can laugh in his face when he talks about a concept of "living in sin" which means that you can't share the rent, but are free to make the beast with two backs without the benefit of marriage.
NOT A FUN GUN
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I'd like some advice on how do deal with a certain kind of "love" situation. Basically, my next door neighbor loves guns. He's got a lot of them, and he shoots them off. Because we live in a rural area, it is not illegal to shoot off firearms. I am not anti-gun, actually own a few, and am an active hunter. But my neighbor is out in the yard four or five days a week, dressed in camouflage and rolling around shooting guns like he's some sort of elite commando. He has young children and shoots the guns not far from where they play. Believe me, it is dangerous. I approached him about the danger to his kids, and he just shrugged me off. I told him I think that I need to consult with the police about what is and isn't legal in terms of firearms being used in such close proximity to children. Some of the bullets have landed in my yard. Since tensions have heightened, my neighbor has taken to training a video camera on me whenever I'm out in the yard. Do you think I'm over the top in my concerns?
Scared
Dear Scared,
No, you're not over the top, and what you describe would lead me to do one of two things. If I were in your shoes, I would assess how much I really want to stay in that house. You really could be in danger. If moving was a reasonable option, it should be considered. If you want to stay where you are, consult a lawyer and find out exactly what the laws concerning firearms in your area are. Then go to the authorities.
Send questions and romantic quandaries to tillie27@verizon.net.
