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A kiddie-diddling riddle

Dr Love Monkey

Dr. Lovemonkey: Cautionary Tales

CAUTIONARY TALES
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I've been going out with this guy at work for about four months and, although I love him dearly, he seems distant while we are at work. He works in the office and I work on the floor. He's not my supervisor or anything, but he is much higher up in the company than I am. He hasn't really been open with the other people who work at our company about our relationship, which I think is a little odd. Things are just fine outside of the workplace. I haven't mentioned our relationship to anyone that works with us and apparently, neither has he. I know this because one of our co-workers mentioned to me the other day that she thought Joe was "hot," something that I don't think she'd do if she knew we were going together. I don't feel good about this and am wondering if you think I'm doing the right thing by not revealing our relationship.

A.H.

Dear A.H.,
There's nothing wrong with discretion, but I must say that I am also a bit disturbed by your boyfriend's seeming reluctance to be open about your relationship. Let me caution you from ever reading the novel, An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser, as the parallels between your story and the book are a bit spooky. You should also avoid A Place In the Sun (1951) with Montgomery Clift, Elizabeth Taylor, and Shelley Winters, as it is based on the novel. Monty plays a guy working at a factory who is going out with Winters, one of the line workers. Things are looking up for him, especially after he meets the boss' daughter (Taylor) and he starts running around with her. He keeps this relationship hidden from poor Shelley who, meanwhile, becomes pregnant, thanks to Monty. Monty ends up drowning Shelley in a lake. He is ultimately found out and gets the chair. See how creepy this is?

UNDERDRESSED
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I am a 19-year-old male and share an apartment with another 19-year-old male. We have been friends for a couple of years and, although he's a really good guy and everything, he has one habit that drives me crazy. I have a very close female friend (not my girlfriend) who visits quite often. When she visits, my roommate frequently will hang out in full view of her in his jockey shorts underwear. When I mentioned to him that this was not really acceptable, he pretty much waved it off by saying that he felt like Julie was practically a part of the household and that he felt very comfortable around her. He also claims that being in your underwear is not much different than wearing a bathing suit. Am I being too tight-assed about this?

Mortified

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