Celebrating the original DIY

By YOUR SECRET ADMIRER | June 11, 2009

Shooting stars
BONUS A list of the top 10 Star Wars euphemisms for masturbation (something that comes in handy on the lonely, cold nights camped outside Skywalker Ranch).

10) Grooming the Wookie
9) Polishing Vader's Helmet
8) Evacuating Tatooine
7) Unsheathing the Meatsaber
6) Releasing the Special Edition
5) Communicating with Red Leader One
4) Lightsaber Practice with Captain Solo
3) Performing the Jedi Hand Trick
2) Scratching Yoda Behind the Ears
1) Test Firing the Death Star

Share your techniques by e-mailing yoursecretadmirer@phx.com. Additional reporting for this column done by Alexis Hauk.

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ARTICLES BY YOUR SECRET ADMIRER

CELEBRATING THE ORIGINAL DIY | June 11, 2009
Like you, dear readers, I was apparently too busy exploring south of the border to even realize it, but I just found out that May was National Masturbation Month.

THE ORIGINAL DIY, OBSERVED | May 27, 2009
This explains a lot: May was National Masturbation Month, first held by the San Francisco-based sex shop Good Vibrations in 1995, and celebrated nationwide. (Some places even hold Masturbate-A-Thons to raise money for local HIV- and AIDS-prevention organizations.) Is that why everyone's been so giddy of late?

SAFE SEXT | April 30, 2009
Blogging, vlogging, and social-networking have already hit orange-alert levels on the oversharing meter. Now pushing things into the red are "sext messages."