How do you ensure that these events stay happy, healthy, non-threatening? I mean, have you had any problems or is it always just kind of like a big party? It's more like a big party. The distinction I'd want to make is between people who individually come and who need to have the boundaries implicit in the event pretty carefully explained and then an eye kept on them by the staff, because we do occasionally have [someone] who thinks this is a good place to hit on people, 'cause it's a sexually receptive state of mind. And certainly people who are masturbating in a room might possibly be comfortable and be up for whatever, but that isn't necessarily the case, and even if it is the case, the MB-a-Thon is not a place to break out into sex. There are places in San Francisco or Boston, private parties generally, where you can do it. The Masturbate-A-Thon is for masturbating because, if you do that in the sex parties, people will give you the hairy eye as if you're in the middle of the mall.
We hear every year that [the M.B.athon] was really healing. I never knew that I was not the only one. People who have gotten the most terrible comments from teachers, parents, partners, their whole lives sometimes. For some people it's hard to do, it's scary, it's serious, and sometimes it helps them break through and feel good about what they're doing.
The other part of it is, somebody masturbating wants to concentrate. They don't need you right next to them to say, "Hey, can I hold that for you?" We have enough problems between public and private — gropers in the subway and this and that. We know we're taking on a strange job here to try to get people comfortable to do a private event. So we have people in the house to keep an eye on things. We let them know that there are people who are going to be around in the room and if they have concerns they can come get one of us. So if they need to say, "No, please, I'm trying to masturbate here." There definitely are newcomers.
The most creative example of dealing with it was this guy in Berkeley, who was in an assisted living home in East Bay, in a wheelchair, sexually interested, young. Doesn't seem to have many sexual partners. He came to the Masturbate-A-Thon and said, "I know this isn't about finding partners, but is it okay if I put a sign on my wheelchair that women could contact me if they're interested?" And I said, yeah, sure. If they aren't stepping into other peoples' spaces saying, "Hey, baby, I see you're masturbating there," I see no reason why... I don't know if this guy got a date out of it or not. He had a good time, he scoped it out, he masturbated a little. It was not just creative but he also connected with appropriate social skills.
