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A kiddie-diddling riddle

Dr Love Monkey

Dr. Lovemonkey: TMI?

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

About four months ago, my wife and I found out that the 19-year-old girl who lives next door (and who we have known since she was a little girl) had a Twitter account. It became a guilty pleasure for us to occasionally look at this account to see what was up in her life. Then, a few weeks ago, she broke up with her boyfriend (who we also know since they went to high school with our daughter, who is the same age) and we decided that this seemed too much like eavesdropping and we stopped checking in. However, I have occasionally gone back to see how she is doing. I know that my wife has no idea that I am keeping up with her. Even though she never posts anything salacious, I feel a little like a dirty old man. I've attempted stopping this a couple of times but keep finding myself going back to see how she is doing. Should I be worried about my behavior?

Can't Stop

Dear Can't Stop,

There is nothing that Dr. Lovemonkey sees as unethical or immoral about your behavior but the fact that you are alarmed with your nosiness, lack of control, and (perhaps) unhealthy interest in someone the age of your daughter is of importance. You might consider it similar to being addicted to the soap operas on TV except for the fact that this is a real person that you know and seem to have concern for. Show a bit of self-discipline and maturity. You can stop.

ALL WORKED UP

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

There appears to be some hanky-panky going on at my workplace. The receptionist has been spending an inordinate amount of time with one of the salesmen. It seems to me (and a few other people in the office) that they are having an affair. He is married and I feel so bad for his wife. I'm not sure if I should say something to anyone about this situation.

Offended

Dear Offended,

You don't seem to have what I would call "solid proof" about an affair and, while it's likely that that is what is going on, it is not your business unless you are related to or otherwise close friends with the wife. If you were one of the detectives on one of the Law & Order spinoff shows, either Captain Cragen or Captain Ross (that's the Eric Bogosian character whose name Dr. Lovemonkey can never remember because, hey, that's the ever-cool Eric Bogosian) would tell you to go out and find more evidence because there isn't enough to execute a search warrant. To a certain extent, this is none of your business. If you are that concerned, you might want to take the salesman aside and tell him that people in the office are talking. Perhaps he'll change his ways if, indeed, he is playing hide the salami with the receptionist.

WATCH YOUR STEP

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

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