Dr. Lovemonkey answers your questions
By DR. LOVEMONKEY | August 4, 2009
THE WORSER HALF
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I cannot stand my best friend's husband. Yesterday, he told me that I was the biggest loser in their group of friends because I made the least amount of money. He remarked that his sister is stupid for staying in a marriage with a man dying of cancer. In short, he's a Class A misogynist and treats his wife worse than anyone. He sees all this as being "humorous." If I say anything, he claims that I am too sensitive and that others do not mind. Because I once dated one of his friends and am friends with his wife, he also knows intimate details about me that he has brought up in group conversations. I love my friend, but I hate her husband. Should I put up with this? And am I really being too "sensitive"? How can I salvage my relationship with her without having to deal with him?
Hates the Jerk
Dear Hates,
You, nor no one else, should put up with someone who is so thoughtless and insensitive as to tell someone to abandon their dying spouse or to mock someone because of their income. This is serious asshole stuff and it is incumbent on you to tell your friend that you just can't take it. This could cause a rupture between the two of you if she is completely deaf and blind to her husband's nasty streak. Suggest that you would only feel comfortable seeing your friend in one-on-one settings or in social situations sans the spouse.
LOVE TAKES TIME
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I am a recent 18-year-old high school graduate, cute (not gorgeous), and an acceptably sociable sort yet, I haven't met anyone new in a couple of years. I went to small schools my whole life and, while I do have deep friendships, I yearn for new "date-able" friends. There are guys who "eye" me, but I never meet anyone who will take the next step and actually speak to me. Where are the deep and sensitive boys I yearn for? My only real "dating experience" was with a guy who was leaving for college, thus I knew it was limited in scope. I liked him (not as much as, it seemed, he liked me) and we did have a lot of fun, but I couldn't kid myself that this was "real." I really want to be in love with someone more than anything else, but it seems that I just don't have it in me. I can't sustain feelings beyond the point where friendship-plus-sexual tension turns to more. It's been easy to say that, up until now, it's been due to the small pool of possibilities, but now that I'm about to move on, I think I need to change something.
Lonely and Frustrated
Dear Lonely and Frustrated,
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