The Phoenix Network:
 
 
About  |  Advertise
Adult  |  Moonsigns  |  Band Guide  |  Blogs  |  In Pictures
 
Big Fat Whale  |  Dr Love Monkey  |  Failure  |  Hoopleville  |  Idiot Box  |  Lifestyle Features  |  Reality Check

Livestock heads and firebombings

Good stuff from Millionaire's vault
By MIKE MILIARD  |  April 13, 2006

SELF PORTRAIT: One among several illustrations Tony Millionaire drew for the Phoenix in the '90s.Tony Millionaire has some stories to tell. Two of them bear retelling. One is about the time his apartment on Mission Hill was firebombed, back in his MassArt days. The other concerns his rather inadvertent connection to Ronald Reagan’s retaliatory bombing of Libya in 1986.

“I was living with a bunch of drunken college students in a house on Mission Hill,” he begins. “The neighbors were very leery of us all because of the parties we had. One day we had a party, and I went to the butcher shop and got some animal heads. I got a cow head, a sheep head, and a pig’s head. And I made a sculpture out of them using windshield-wiper motors. I hooked it up so there was this crazy sculpture that was dancing around. A meat sculpture.” The morning after the festivities, it was cleanup time. “I took the heads out, because they were getting smelly, and threw them over a fence.”

Perhaps predictably, the neighbors did not take kindly to this. Later that day, sleeping off his hangover, Millionaire awoke to a loud explosion. “A bomb went off in our stairway. Blew out the windows in the stairs. It didn’t hurt anybody, but the whole house filled up with smoke, and everybody ran into the street. One of the neighborhood teenagers walked up to me, and he said, ‘Get the hell out of our neighborhood, Tony Millionaire .’ ” Then the kid socked him in the mouth and smashed his front teeth. (“Actually, I had dentures, but he broke those.”)

Later, the kids came back and broke all the windows in the house. “I went over to a friend’s place, and she got a telephone call saying, ‘If you don’t get him out of there, we’re gonna firebomb your house, too.’ ” So Tony Millionaire got in a car and drove straight to Virginia, where for three weeks he lay low.

Years later, Millionaire was living as a squatter in Berlin. One night, he was walking home with some friends from a party. He was wearing a tuxedo. He was drunk. Suddenly, they noticed a burning building, flanked by fire trucks. “We were like, ‘Wow! What’s going on in there?’ ” Unbeknownst to him, it was the La Belle disco, which had been bombed by Libyan terrorists, killing three people, two of them US soldiers. (Less than two weeks later, Ronald Reagan would retaliate by raining missiles on Tripoli.)

“There were police and American soldiers everywhere,” Millionaire says. “My friend had a camera and wanted to get some pictures. But we couldn’t get near it. So I said, ‘Just follow me.’ I started screaming, ‘My wife! My wife is in there!!!’ I ran past the soldiers and the German policemen, and I ran right into the building and started lifting up a big piece of concrete, screaming, ‘Help! My wife is under here!’ The American soldiers grabbed me. ‘Come on buddy, come over here. Everything is gonna be all right. What’s you’re wife’s name?’ I said, ‘Sally!’ ”

1  |  2  |   next >
Related: Who wants to be Tony Millionaire?, Is he being served?, Pardons are forever, More more >
  Topics: Lifestyle Features , Armed Forces, Ronald Reagan, Tony Millionaire
  • Share:
  • Share this entry with Facebook
  • Share this entry with Digg
  • Share this entry with Delicious
  • RSS feed
  • Email this article to a friend
  • Print this article
Comments

ARTICLES BY MIKE MILIARD
Share this entry with Delicious
  •   PHOENIX CRITIC WINS GRANT  |  December 02, 2009
    It was announced earlier this week that Phoenix contributing writer Greg Cook's art blog, the New England Journal of Aesthetic Research, has been awarded a $30,000 endowment from the Creative Capital/Warhol Foundation Arts Writers Grant Program, which rewards "commitment to the craft of writing and the advancement of critical discourse on contemporary visual art."
  •   REVIEW: STRONGMAN  |  December 03, 2009
    Stanley “Stanless Steel” Pleskun is a lumbering, mumbling tree of a man.
  •   GLENN BECK'S UNHINGED SWEATER SAGA  |  November 24, 2009
    Hello, America. A special Glenn Beck Program tonight: I'm speaking to you from somewhere in the North Pole, and let me tell you [adopts cartoonish yokel voice with rubbery exaggerated shiver] it is coooooooold up here.
  •   WE'RE KILLING THE OCEANS  |  November 18, 2009
    I meet world-renowned undersea photojournalist Brian Skerry at Legal Seafoods, across from the New England Aquarium, where he's the explorer in residence. He orders a chicken Caesar salad.
  •   REVISITING THE GREATEST HARVARD-YALE GAME  |  November 18, 2009
    It takes some doing to make Harvard look like an underdog in anything. But Harvard Beats Yale, 29-29 — Kevin Rafferty's 2008 movie (out now on DVD) and new book (released this past month) about the famous football rivalry — does just that.

 See all articles by: MIKE MILIARD

MOST POPULAR
RSS Feed of for the most popular articles
 Most Viewed   Most Emailed 



  |  Sign In  |  Register
 
thePhoenix.com:
Phoenix Media/Communications Group:
TODAY'S FEATURED ADVERTISERS
Copyright © 2009 The Phoenix Media/Communications Group