THE DEVIL INSIDE?
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I suffer from debilitating mental disorders that I have spent years working to manage. I have been functioning well for a number of years now. My parents are divorced, and my mother’s family has always been very supportive. My father’s family, on the other hand, sees mental illness as a stigma and has always disagreed with my approach to treatment. I was with them re-cently at a family event and, when I arrived, everyone was sitting solemnly around the living room, and the local pastor was there. He calmly explained to me that I was not actually mentally ill but possessed by agents of Satan and in need of an exorcism. I explained to them that I did not need any demons driven out, and the evening ended awkwardly. Now they’ve invited me for Thanksgiving, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to alienate them, but my symptoms are part of a real disorder and can be treated by medication. How do I explain to them that while I do want to spend time with them, it’s not the Middle Ages, and I don’t want or need an exorcism?
Not the Devil’s Spawn
Dear Not,
Usually there’s some room to maneuver when it comes to family disagreements, but it sounds like dad’s family is operating from another planet, if not solar system. Best for you to put together your own Thanksgiving observance with friends, neighbors, and others who (we shall presume) are not given to play the Satanic Possession Card to explain that which may be difficult to understand. Dr. Lovemonkey will assume that your father’s family has the best intentions, but their take on this matter has the potential to inspire more grief than happiness. Tell them you’re having a “friends and neighbors” meal this year. If you feel that you should get together with them, I would suggest that Halloween is a more appropriate day for this crew.
TIME TO MOVE ON
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I recently broke up with the woman I’ve been with for more than three years. When we split, she was the prime instigator and her reason was that our relationship had become “emotionally distant” and, thus, “dissatisfying.” I am certainly not in a position to be objective about this, but it was my impression that our relationship and communication had continued to be pretty good and our sex life was quite active right up until the end. I have worked at accepting this but, less than a month after our breakup, she had started seeing another guy. I felt bad, but now I feel worse. I know that it is an unworthy thought, but I would like to seek some sort of revenge without it being too negative. I believe that I’ll feel better sooner if I can find a way to purge myself of her memory. Any suggestions?
Wanting to Wipe the Slate Clean
Dear Wanting,
Is it your belief that tossing a flaming cow chip on your ex’s front porch would purge you of your misery? Perhaps an equine head in her bed a la Don Corleone? While I can cer-tainly understand your desire to seek vengeance, my belief is this will merely extend your period of bad feelings. Concentrating on the past is not of benefit to you. Construct a voodoo doll at home with a Ronco Voodoo Doll Kit (or perhaps Acme makes these . . . check with Wile E. Coyote) and puncture it with needles. Better yet, go out and socialize with friends or meet some new people. I’m sure your best instincts tell you to move on while it is a far lesser urge that tells you to “get even” or whatever it is that you think you’re do-ing. Let it be — the sooner the better.
