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A kiddie-diddling riddle

Dr Love Monkey

Mom breaks bended kneecaps, and other drama

TIME FOR A CHANGE

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I have been dating a woman, J., for the past three months. About a month ago, we decided to be "girlfriends." This was after much discussion, since she wasn't completely sure she was ready. Also, I found out about that time that she had been sleeping with her ex. Nevertheless, I forgave her and we decided to try a relationship. I love her, but sometimes I fear she is not compatible with me. While we have many things in common (e.g., similar interests and educational backgrounds), she's simply at a different place in her life than I am. I am ready to settle down and have children; she still wants to smoke pot, get faced, and stay out all night. The plot thickens . . . I have recently met someone new. This woman and I are friends, but we are developing feelings for each other. She is single, older, established, and looking to settle down in a relationship and have children. We have so much in common that it's scary, and I often find myself on the phone with her for hours. I am confused about how to handle this situation. Should I stay with my current girlfriend since I love her and have made a commitment? Or should I consider asking her to date other people and see my new friend? Although I love my girlfriend, I simply feel that I have more in common with and would be more compatible and (possibly) happier with the new woman.

Looking for Advice

Dear Looking,

What Dr. Lovemonkey thinks is key here is the fact that you and J. are not on the same wavelength at the same time. You are focused on settling down and she still wants to continue the party. I don't understand why J. would think that she is now ready for a committed relationship. You have only been with J. for three months, which is not a very long time, but your instincts are indicating that you're not compatible. I think that your instincts are correct. You and J. are just at two very different stages in your lives. Initiating a split may be painful, but it makes sense. Let's hope you can continue to be "girlfriends" who can agree to pursue other intimate relationships.

MAMA'S BOY

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

My boyfriend and I have known each other for five years, and we have been together for seven months. We both agree that this is it, the real thing. We have talked about getting engaged and he is throwing hints that he is going to propose soon, but he doesn't know I know it's this soon. Anyhow, from what he has told me, his dad seems supportive and happy for him, but his mom is furious! She tells him it is way too soon and that he is nowhere near ready to be married and that he has co-dependency issues because we see each other four to five times week for a few hours. He's 23 and I'm 24 . . . it's not like we're teens or something. He wants to move in with his best friend and she is flipping out about that, too. You would think she would be happy that he is not going to live with me until we are married. Most recently, he got into an argument with his mom and she said that she would refuse to attend the wedding. This upset him greatly. I just need some advice because this is really hurting both of us.

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