The Phoenix Network:
 
 
About  |  Advertise
Adult  |  Moonsigns  |  Band Guide  |  Blogs  |  In Pictures
 
Features  |  Reviews
FIND MOVIES
Find a Movie
Movie List
Loading ...
or
Find Theaters and Movie Times
or
Search Movies

The Hills Have Eyes II

They should keep 'em closed
By BRETT MICHEL  |  March 29, 2007
0.5 0.5 Stars

VIDEO: Watch the trailer for The Hills Have Eyes II.

This quickie sequel to last year’s remake of The Hills Have Eyes promises that “the lucky ones die fast.” Not fast enough. Martin Weisz’s follow-up is an unnecessary 89-minute slog. As annoying as last year’s addition to the “torture porn” genre was, the amateurish tedium of Weisz’s installment actually made me appreciate Alexandre Aja’s wasted efforts. Sure, Aja’s film was a reprehensible pile of masochistic shit, but it was handsomely made shit: well paced, with a good cast of actors (Ted Levine, Aaron Stanford). This one only bores — and it carries the fecal metaphor still farther. On the eve of being dispatched to Iraq, a group of remarkably good-looking, incredibly stupid National Guard trainees (unknowns all) become the latest to face slaughter (and rape) at the hands (and tumorous loins) of inbred mutants in the New Mexico desert. Sitting in my seat as a feces-strewn victim was left to rot inside a port-o-potty, I could only empathize.
Related: Hindsight, Playlist: July 6, 2007, Otaku you, More more >
  Topics: Reviews , Entertainment, Media, Television,  More more >
  • Share:
  • Share this entry with Facebook
  • Share this entry with Digg
  • Share this entry with Delicious
  • RSS feed
  • Email this article to a friend
  • Print this article
Comments

ARTICLES BY BRETT MICHEL
Share this entry with Delicious
  •   INTERVIEW: GABOUREY SIDIBE  |  November 18, 2009
    "While reading the book, I realized that I knew this girl in so many different people. Not just girls but boys, and not just black people but white and Asian and Indian."
  •   REVIEW: MICHAEL JACKSON'S THIS IS IT  |  November 12, 2009
    The Star Wars –style titles that begin Kenny Ortega’s hastily assembled Michael Jackson tribute documentary explain that the film has been whittled down from 100 hours of behind-the-scenes video shot between last April and June during rehearsals for the King of Pop’s planned 50-date “This Is It” London concert series.
  •   INTERVIEW: LONE SCHERFIG  |  November 16, 2009
    Born in Denmark in 1959, Lone Scherfig first gained international attention in 2000 with Italian for Beginners, a charming little film that won her the Silver Bear at the Berlin Film Festival. A couple of years later, she followed up with Wilbur Wants to Kill Himself, her first English-language effort, filmed in Scotland and starring Adrian Rawlins and Shirley Henderson.
  •   REVIEW: THE BOONDOCK SAINTS II: ALL SAINTS DAY  |  November 02, 2009
    You’d think Troy Duffy would have learned something in the decade since he blew his golden ticket with The Boondock Saints .
  •   REVIEW: THE STEPFATHER  |  October 21, 2009
    If you call a film The Stepfather , then your title character should have the decency to marry into that perfect little family that he’s predisposed to butcher and kill.

 See all articles by: BRETT MICHEL

MOST POPULAR
RSS Feed of for the most popular articles
 Most Viewed   Most Emailed 



  |  Sign In  |  Register
 
thePhoenix.com:
Phoenix Media/Communications Group:
TODAY'S FEATURED ADVERTISERS
Copyright © 2009 The Phoenix Media/Communications Group