Every song should have maybe 10 percent Christmas-related content, so we don’t have to listen to a different set of songs during the holiday season. The Christmas stuff shouldn’t be so overbearing that it makes us long for Christmas in the middle of May, but it should be noticeable enough that when we hear it on the radio in December, we’ll say, “Oh, yeah, he just said ‘reindeer.’ ” You could add other holiday references within the song on a diminishing scale according to the importance of the holiday, so each song would also have five percent birthday-applicable lyrics, three percent Thanksgiving, one percent Halloween, and so forth.
Opera gave way to regular singing, and singing gave way to rapping. What’s next? Some sort of heavy breathing, or coughing.
Bands shouldn’t be allowed to choose their own names; instead, they should have to audition for a name in front of a qualified music critic (who would be generously remunerated). The critic would then give the band a name indicative of their quality. For example, a very good band might be named the “Greatbands”; a terrible band would be called the “Dontlistenums,” or “Sum 41.” Bands could reapply for a better name after one year; that would give them time to practice and get better (the “Improved Dontlistenums”). I feel that this requirement would keep bands honest and drive up the overall quality of music. Not to mention making me a better-paid critic.
Related:
The Big Hurt: MJ murder mystery, Aerosmith injuries, The end that could have been, Study shows country music is still just awful, More 
- The Big Hurt: MJ murder mystery, Aerosmith injuries
Much as I hate to bring up Michael Jackson again, I was intrigued by sister La Toya's allegations that he was knocked off for his publishing assets.
- The end that could have been
For a few wonderful days, it seemed that Aerosmith were finally kaput.
- Study shows country music is still just awful
You know what I haven't done in a while, for plenty of very good reasons? Listened to the whole cotton-pickin' Billboard Hot Country chart! Yee-haw!
- The Big Hurt: Liam alone
Everyone figured that Noel Gallagher would go solo — it’s been hinted at for years — but the break-up of Oasis has made it a grim inevitability.
- The Bigmouth strikes again
Given all the conflicting emotions, it was tough to form an opinion on Kanye West's VMA bum rush against Taylor Swift.
- The Big Hurt: Broken bones and stripper poles
Only a few weeks ago, I was making fun of Aerosmith for their inability to present Aerosmith in their Guitar Hero: Aerosmith Presents Aerosmith tour.
- The Big Hurt: We floss econo
You might recall a slew of ominous articles in 2007 proclaiming that hip-hop was through. Sales were way down, and the culprits were clear: jewelry, violence, and naughty dancing.
- The Big Hurt: More bad news in brief
Police pulled over Snoop Dogg’s tour bus and — gasp! — smelled marijuana!
- The Big Hurt: Confessions of a band namer
Maybe you’ve never heard the name Harold Wells, but it’s a safe bet that you’re a fan of his handiwork.
- The Big Hurt: Checking the Billboard Hot 100
As usual, I won't be able to make it through the full 100, but seven is just as good, right?
- The Big Hurt: ''Losing'' news in brief
AEROSMITH ’s disastrous summer of canceled tours and geriatric folly has taken its toll on guitarist Joe Perry, who recently told MTV that the band were on “indefinite hiatus” — which is music-industry slang for “I hate Steven Tyler.”
- Less
Topics:
Music Features
, Entertainment, Music, Culture and Lifestyle, More
, Entertainment, Music, Culture and Lifestyle, Holidays, Sum41, Less
