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Big Hurt

The Big Hurt: Bieber Silences Youth, Kings of Leon Sell Out

The week's best press releases
I hadn't originally planned a press-release review for this week, but some PR blasts require immediate attention.

By: DAVID THORPE | July 19, 2011

The Big Hurt: Smash Mouth egg, Juggalos gather, Oasis grump, Bieber fades

Music news in brief
By the time you read this, Steve Harwell of SMASH MOUTH may be caked in sweat and yolk flecks, clutching his distended belly, groaning and wheezing — more so than usual, even.

By: DAVID THORPE | July 12, 2011

The Big Hurt: Calling all Rembrandts!

The Dutch 'Cultural Meltdown'
While scouring the press release bin for cheap laughs, I came across a story of some legitimate interest: a coalition of Dutch artists recently took out an ad in the New York Times advising "Do Not Enter the Netherlands — Cultural Meltdown in Progress."

By: DAVID THORPE | July 11, 2011

The Big Hurt: Winehouse blows it in the Balkans, Morrissey murders cats

Music news in brief
Some people think music writing is pretty soft compared to being a war correspondent or whatever, but I listened to a Limp Bizkit song and an Evanescence song tonight. That has to be a million times worse than anything that's ever happened in Libya.

By: DAVID THORPE | June 29, 2011

florida psychic speaks to michael jackson

The Big Hurt: MJ's ghost speaks!

A Florida psychic gets the message from Michael
In case you've been bummed by the dearth of posthumous Michael Jackson tracks, I've got some good news.

By: DAVID THORPE | June 24, 2011

The Big Hurt: 'That Girl in Pink' cures cancer; Nick Jonas falls for Big Oats

Tween releases
This week, another stroll through the terrifying graveyard of unloved press releases.

By: DAVID THORPE | June 09, 2011

The Big Hurt: Bieber's scent, Foster the People's kicks, Dylan's smack, Tyler and Sara's tiff

Music news in brief
Though our wee lad is scarcely old enough to develop a musky scent of his own, he's already prepping his second commercial fragrance.

By: DAVID THORPE | June 01, 2011

The Big Hurt: Getting serious about Tyler, the Creator

Word games
Odd Future's lyrics — particularly those of frontman Tyler, the Creator — aren't for the faint of heart.

By: DAVID THORPE | May 25, 2011

The Big Hurt: Lep, Squire, Cee-Lo, and Sufjan duke it out

Lamewatch!
There's no end of lameness in music news this week, but here are a few of the highlights.

By: DAVID THORPE | May 19, 2011

The Big Hurt: Hit men get hit, plus Kid Rock, ICP, Dave Grohl, Steven Tyler, Lil B & Jay Electronica, and Bieberwatch

Music news in brief
This week in big trouble: RICK SPRINGFIELD was arrested for driving drunk, FLAVOR FLAV was busted for a bunch of stuff, PHIL SPECTOR's appeal was rejected, and an American Navy SEAL team shot and killed gentle '70s folk-rock singer OSAMA BIN LADEN.

By: DAVID THORPE | May 10, 2011

The Big Hurt: Loko and loco

This month in hip-hop controversy
A little part of me died when the Man took Four Loko away. Yes, it was a much smaller part than the area of my brain that died while Four Loko was legal, but I still miss the stuff. Last month, reports surfaced that Colt 45 would be filling the void with Blast, a candy-flavored fizzy drink with enough alcohol per can to knock out a baby centaur.

By: DAVID THORPE | May 06, 2011

This week in The Big Hurt by David Thorpe

The Big Hurt: Britney, Billy Joel, John Mellencamp, Rebecca Black, and Miley Cyrus weigh the price of fame

Britney, Billy Joel, John Mellencamp, Rebecca Black, and Miley Cyrus weigh the price of fame
BRITNEY SPEARS is being sued for $10 million by the company that helped her score a fragrance deal with Elizabeth Arden. It's claiming that she owes it a 35 percent commission on the sales of her popular scents. This boosts my self-esteem a little — say what you will about my fragrance, at least it's never been actionable.

By: DAVID THORPE | April 14, 2011

Big Hurt: Chris Brown's problematic timing

Almost saved!
Last Tuesday was an awkward day for MTV.com and the rest of the Chris Brown promotional forgiveness machine — on the same day that his career-saving comeback album was dropped, he appeared on Good Morning America and became incensed by pre-vetted questions regarding his assault on Rihanna.

By: DAVID THORPE | March 31, 2011

The Big Hurt: Pancakes! Lent! Golf!

This month's inessential press releases
March has been a true delight in the music-PR department — I haven't seen this many dumbshit stunts since Jackass 3D . Let's roll up our sleeves and thrust our hands elbow deep into a steaming pile of press releases:

By: DAVID THORPE | March 24, 2011

The Big Hurt: The torments of Phil, plus Biebs's 'stache, Simpson's Snoop poop

Music news in brief
A thrilling roller-coaster of PHIL COLLINS drama this week. First, a murmur washed over the media as Collins seemed to announce his retirement in an FHM interview.

By: DAVID THORPE | March 18, 2011

The Big Hurt: What's really raw?

Plus, another 'Big Hurt' quiz
Plus, another 'Big Hurt' quiz

By: DAVID THORPE | March 09, 2011

http://cache.thephoenix.com/secure/uploadedImages/The_Phoenix/Music/Features/HURT030411_Snoop_list

The Big Hurt: Snoop goes 4G

Music news in brief
Plus, Scott Walker's drift, Rick Ross's Tweet thuggery, Sting's Libya worries, Biebs's deep thoughts

By: DAVID THORPE | March 04, 2011

The Big Hurt: The 'best' of Digital Songs

Who charted?
Let's check out Billboard 's Digital Songs chart, which tracks the most-downloaded songs in all genres. Should make for some interesting diversity, right? No! Actually, it's all the same crap from the Hot 100 in a slightly different order.

By: DAVID THORPE | February 18, 2011

The Big Hurt: A Swift descent into Cake, Broadcasting death, and Steven Tyler's Idol

Music News in Brief
It was a minor tragedy when blameless young TAYLOR SWIFT scored the worst-selling #1 album in recorded chart history. But the humiliation didn't end there: the poor kid's record was shattered only a week later by quasi-novelty dorks CAKE , who managed to knock her off the top spot with an even weaker chart debut.

By: DAVID THORPE | January 26, 2011

The Big Hurt: De Jeugd Van Tegenwoordig's Faberyayo tells all

Dutch spit
In the year-end issue of the Phoenix , I listed my five favorite Dutch rap tracks of 2010. Number two was "Sterrenstof," by a group called De Jeugd van Tegenwoordig (loose translation: Kids These Days).

By: DAVID THORPE | January 18, 2011

The Big Hurt: Biebs's babe

Plus Bach's split, Thude's Justin, Blu in Seattle, and Muse in space
Biebs's babe, Bach's split, Thude's Justin, Blu in Seattle, and Muse in space

By: DAVID THORPE | January 12, 2011

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