Back by popular demand! Just in time for the first series of the season on Monday, here’s another installment of Red Sox–Yankees haiku. (And if you think you can do better, Basho, submit your own, below.)
Papelbon’s brought in
Reads Last of the Mohicans
And goes down swinging.
Giambi homers!
When do they start testing for
Human growth hormone?
In New York City,
Johnny Damon is
Just another caveman face.
Mystique and aura
Will not keep the Big Unit’s
Knees from falling off.
“Enter Sandman,” huh?
Wagner stole Mo’s little song?
How about “My Humps”?
$21 million?
For Jaret Wright? Jaret Wright?!
That is too funny.
Who’s unsexier?
Unit or Gilbert Gottfried?
Someone should rank them.
A 9-8 record
And Miguel Cairo at first?
You can do better.
Alex Rodriguez?
He will homer in the clutch.
Someday. He has to.
Weekend at Bernie’s
Was apparently inspired
By Bernie Williams.
Related:
Ballpark figures, Ugly Portland, Adrenaline Rush, More
- Ballpark figures
According to the essayists and numbers-crunchers at Baseball Prospectus, the hardball stathead’s Bible, there are “few irrefutable truths” in the game.
- Ugly Portland
It’s summertime. That means the air is sauna-thick; the sidewalks are clogged with three parts tourists, one part locals; and your favorite bag of choice is now a fanny pack. Slideshow: ugly Portland View our map of ugly Portland (Illustration by Mike Gorman)
- Adrenaline Rush
- The Phoenix’s first annual sex-survey results
Back in May, staff writer Camille Dodero reported on the state of sex in Boston through interviews with straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people (“ Sex (Circa 2006). ”) Topics ranged from one-night stands to monogamous relationships, from the bro job to the growing fluidity of sexual orientation.
- Dance, monkey: Andrea Henry
Immediately projected all my unfulfilled dreams onto her. She’s already signed up for Patriots cheerleading camp.
- Brains, balls, and a key to Fenway
Mnookin’s tale of unprecedented access lays bare the workings of one of the biggest and most beloved franchises in sports, during one of the most epochal eras of its 105-year history. Beyond "Dirty Water": Red Sox songs that don't suck. By Mike Miliard
- The 100 unsexiest men in the world
Welcome to the first installment of ThePhoenix.com's 100 Unsexiest Men in the World.
- The 100 unsexiest men 2007: 100-91
These guys couldn't turn on a radio
- And here's the verse part
I think it was Bashō who said, "Yankees suck three ways. So hard. So bad. Wicked bad."
- Filth and Wisdom
As the lead character narrates his “filthy” story, and those of his London flatmates/neighbors, we hit upon boredom long before wisdom can arrive.
- Fair game?
This is the type of story that gets Yankee fans’ blood boiling.
- Less

Topics:
This Just In
, Alex Rodriguez, Bernie Williams, Johnny Damon, More
, Alex Rodriguez, Bernie Williams, Johnny Damon, Gilbert Gottfried, Jaret Wright, Randy Johnson (Baseball), Less