. . . Just glad to see me?

Bad karma; a Complex Christmas; the Darwin Awards; J.R. at City Hall
By PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  December 15, 2010

Phillipe and Jorge's Plaxico Burress Award goes to State Representative Peter Petrarca who was charged Saturday night with illegally firing a gun outside Club Karma, of which he is part owner, in the ProHo district of Our Little Towne.

Burress is the former New York Giants wide receiver (and catcher of the winning pass in the Giants' Super Bowl win over the Pats), who is serving two years at the government's pleasure after his gun went off in a New York City nightclub. The piece slipped from the waistband of his sweatpants and, attempting to grab it, Burress managed to shoot himself in the thigh.

Petrarca couldn't top that stunt. He somehow avoided shooting off his pecker with his .38 caliber Smith & Wesson. But evidently, when police arrived on the scene, smoke was still wafting out of his coat pocket. (Cue flash mob singing "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?" to ringing laughter and applause on Richmond Street.)

While Petrarca's attempt to excite Mae West may have failed, we are sure members of the ProHo community are delighted. After they fought successfully to have the liquor license revoked from Club Elements, the previous incarnation of Club Karma, because of a New Year's Eve shooting, the Providence Board of Licenses transferred the license to Petrarca and his business partner with the promise that they would increase security at the violent hot spot. It appears Sheriff Petey is taking those crime fighting matters directly into his own pocket, so rest easy townsfolk.


COMPLEX SHOPPING

For fans of the iconic Providence movie, Complex World, the DVD is now available online at complexworldthemovie.com.

As director Jim Wolpaw suggests, "Check out the site and give the gift of the ghost of Providence past! Remember all proceeds from DVD sales are donated in the name of Carolyn Forest for the Gloria Gemma Breast Cancer Foundation and in the name of Charlie Thompson for Advocates in Action. A fun gift and a great way to spread some holiday cheer! Spread the word to all of your friends."

We just did.


GENIUS ON PARADE

Time again for the annual Darwin Awards, which are given to people whose flashes of genius have led to their removal from the world's gene pool. This year's winning prize went to German zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt, who reportedly "fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves . . . 'Shit happens.' "

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