Phillipe and Jorge don't know about you, but we would prefer to have our health care options dictated by a guy who dyes his skin orange and chain smokes.

Yes, Speaker of the House John Boehner and his sidekick — aging queen Mitch McConnell, the Senate minority leader — are leading the Republican sheep in Congress in the push to repeal Obamacare.

Congressional Republicans have essentially become a bunch of dumb farm animals with no independent thought, shepherded by Boehner and McConnell into whatever perverse, brain-dead viewpoint they espouse — pausing only to put their hoof prints on any pledge shoved under their noses by Grover Norquist.

The GOP is aghast that (their!) Supreme Court ruled Obamacare constitutional. But this appears, to P&J, like just another ass-covering piece of political theater. The hideous, bought-and-paid-for Chief Justice John Roberts, fearful that his legacy will be that of rubber stamp for the GOP, counted the votes and cut a deal with Supreme Anthony Kennedy.

Roberts would cast the swing vote defending Obamacare. And that would allow Kennedy to write a righteously indignant dissent, making the justice, who often comes down on the liberal side of 5-4 votes, appear to be his own man. Wow. Bow-wow.

This sort of thing is S.O.P. in DC (and often Little Rhody). Once the outcome of the floor vote is known, certain members on the losing side are allowed to thunder on about their proud opposition, with the promise that their criticism will not cost them with the leadership.

Nothing better than watching the sausage — or should I say, mutton — made by people whose hand shakes would send you straight to the shower, is there? Where is a damn health inspector when you need one?


DON'T GET OUT-FOXED

Speaking of Speakers, Gordon Fox's absolutely unbelievable Sgt. Schultz claims in an interview with the Urinal that he knew "nuh-sink, nuh-sink" about the 38 Studios deal are laughable. As are his promises to bring up the gay marriage bill in the 2013 legislative session, assuming he gets reelected.

How many b.s. pledges do you have to hear before you invoke the "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me" rule? If the speaker had the cojones to stand up for gay marriage, he would have done so already — a year ago, when it came to a head.

And if he doesn't have the influence to push such an obviously just piece of civil rights legislation through, he should not be speaker in a General Assembly owned by the Democratic Party.

When it comes to the 38 Studios scandal, Fox's relationship with the detestable Steve Costantino — the former House Finance Committee chairman who seemingly favored the deal — cannot be ignored.

And the investigation of the matter should conclude well in advance of polling time in November. Then, Fox will have to find a way to bring Bob Crane and Richard Dawson back from the grave to bolster his Sgt. Schultz act.

Can you say "obfuscation," boys and girls?


CUP RUNNETH UNDER

While the America's Cup preliminary races off Newport this past weekend should be considered a success for The Biggest Little (and it was undoubtedly a marvelous event for the millionaires with wet bottoms), it provides further evidence of the ineptitude of the Economic Development Corporation at the center of the 38 Studios blow-up.

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