That might not sound too harsh on paper, but imagine 40,000 Scotsmen in full throat singing it with malice aforethought.

Enjoy Ipanema, Frankie. Red thong?

Swinging geniuses

Not that this makes your heart beat faster, but Vice President Joe Biden will be coming to The Biggest Little for an August 22 ceremony to celebrate the new Nuala Pell Leadership Program in Public Service at Salve Regina University. Nuala, the wife of the legendary late US Senator Claiborne Pell, was not only Claiborne’s rock and protector as his health failed, she was also sharp as a tack in her own right — a perfect example of a leader dedicated to service. This is a well-deserved honor for her, with Joe Biden’s presence being a mere distraction from the true star of the day.

One story most don’t know about Nuala is that after Claiborne’s Coast Guard stint, and prior to his entering politics, he was a lecturer at Princeton on marine issues. The Pells lived at the time in the same apartment building as the eccentric genius Albert Einstein. Einstein taught Nuala how to manage a household checkbook, and she would make the bachelor meals in return.

Great (Free) Music

This week, there’s a fun music series called BridgeFest taking place at various venues in Newport. Here are a couple of highlights: on Monday, July 29, Doug Woolverton, the terrific trumpet player from Roomful of Blues, will perform the music of Miles Davis with a band called the Miles Davis Experience. Doug is one of the finest anywhere at recreating the feeling of Miles’s music and (this is amazing) he plays the actual trumpet that Miles played on Kind of Blue. Expect first-rate musicianship and a lively and diverse selection of tunes. Having already maxed out reservations for the first show at the Fifth Element club, the venue has added a second show scheduled for Tuesday, July 30. Your superior correspondents suggest that you call 401.619.2552 and make reservations. You will not be disappointed. And the best part? It’s free!

Also part of BridgeFest is a show on Thursday, August 1 featuring blues legend (and Newport resident), James Montgomery. This one is taking place on the lawn of Rosecliff Mansion, beginning at 6 pm. It’s a tribute to the great R&B and soul music that came out of the recording studio at Muscle Shoals, Alabama. You’ll know the songs: big hits by the likes of Wilson Pickett, Etta James, Bobby Bland, Ray Charles, and others.

Montgomery has assembled a band with Robert Johnson Howard, Erica Rodney, Ed Bradley, Jeff Keithline, Don DC Culp, Sandy MacDonald, and the fabulous Cadillac Horns. This show is also free, so get there early. You might want to bring a lawn chair or blanket — 0r not, as you’ll probably be doing a lot of dancing. Jorge (Rudy Cheeks) will be the emcee and he might even play a little with his old buddy Monty.

Meanwhile, back in Our Little Towne (aka Providence), there are a couple of highly recommended musical events on Friday evening, July 26. If you have the desire and energy, you can make them both.

From 7 to 9 pm, Josh Schurman, head ramrod of the band Biscuit City, and the dazzling Paula Clare Ciminero will play at L’Artisan Cafe and Bakery in Wayland Square on Providence’s East Side. After that, you can slide down to the Jewelry District to catch Mark Cutler and the Men of Great Courage at Nick-a-Nee’s, another free show. (If we’re not mistaken, Stephanie, the owner of Nick-a-Nee’s, danced on the bar the last time Mark and MOGC were there.)

Send a shredder and Pulitzer-grade tips top&j@phx.com.

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