Paging George Santayana

Syria? Let's not; the dating game; all roads lead to Pawtucket
By PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  September 4, 2013

Professional wiseasses like Phillipe and Jorge don’t ever mean to come across as scolds, but is there anyone in Washington, DC who knows the famed 1905 quote by the Spanish philosopher (who was raised in the United States) George Santayana: “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it”?

Well, welcome to Syria, boys and girls!

Yeah, let’s bring up Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan once again, those recent triumphs of American global strategy in which we got our asses shot off on the world stage. Obviously the Beltway boys and girls don’t have a lot of contact with the relatives of our bravest men and women who gave their lives on behalf of a bunch of booze-soaked whores to K Street, under the flimsiest of pretenses, like fake claims of weapons of mass destruction. (Take a bow, Dubya, Dick, Condi, and Colin.)

The big deal this time? Chemical warfare? How about we just say, like, “Oil and Israel”? Or the genius argument of the “domino theory” trumpeted by that great patriot Richard Nixon? Or perhaps we should mention the idea that, by arming the Taliban in Afghanistan against those pesky Russkies once upon a time, we now have our own munitions being used to kill Americans? But you told us you loved us, Mr. Taliban!

So now acting once again as the world’s Officer Krupke, and driven by the likes of the spineless President Obama and his enablers, such as the certified whack job Senator John McCain, we’re going to show that big bad Syrian tyrant Bashar Assad who’s boss.

This entire operation is premised on the fact that Assad used chemical weapons against his own people. And. . .? How is that different from North Korea’s BizarroWorld little creep Kim Jong-Un starving his people to death and imprisoning them in labor camps? Or those wacky Chinese leaders, who are still keeping a death grip on their people while eating America’s economic lunch? Jesus H., you can almost make a better case for attacking Russia over their incarceration of Pussy Riot than some a-hole we’ve been propping up in Syria for years for gassing his citizens.

So let’s roll the dice again, and hand Syria over to the Muslim Brotherhood like we did Afghanistan to those gallant and lovable rebels (at the time, so we thought), the Taliban. See how Big Oil and Israel like them apples.

That whirring sound you hear is Santayana spinning in his grave.

Billboard wars

Pardon P&J if we aren’t as outraged as 2014 gubernatorial candidate Ken Block appears to be by his potential opponent for top dog at the State House, Providence Mayor Angel Taveras, appearing in a billboard ad promoting the upcoming musical Evita at the Providence Performing Arts Center.

Block got his knickers in a twist because he sees this as violation of campaign financing laws: Block has to pay for his billboards, while Taveras gets ads like the Evita billboard for free. Sorry, Ken, when you’re the elected mayor of the state’s Capital City, you ought to be out there thumping the tub on Our Little Towne’s behalf every chance you get. And Angel’s fairly low-key presence in the ads doesn’t hold a candle to the self-promotions of Buddy “Vincent A.” Cianci when he was majordomo in La Prov (and a very successful advocate for the city, we might add).

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