Independent Mannequin

By PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  December 11, 2013

Netanyahu passed on a trip to Mandela’s funeral, citing recent criticism of his exorbitant personal spending habits and not wanting to pony up for the journey. But P&J are inclined to believe that this slight of South Africa probably had more to do with Bibi being rightly seen as a heavy-handed warmonger who might not be so welcome in a salute to the peace-loving former South African president, not to mention the fact that many of the world leaders that would be on hand personally loathe the insufferable, pompous a-hole.

And Tommy Tobin? The guy in the dress just can’t keep his mouth shut.

The Bish’s immense ego led him to seek the spotlight and use Mandela’s death to issue a statement to the media that while there was “much to admire” about Mandela’s “long life and public service” (which makes him sound like a former postal worker), he also practiced a “shameful promotion of abortion.”

Great timing, Bish. Here’s your mitre, what’s your hurry?

One would think the expression, “Don’t speak ill about the dead” (especially before they’re even in the ground), might have popped to mind. But perhaps Tommy had shame on his mind because he’d been thinking about all of the Catholic Church’s wonderful pedophiles and shirt-lifters who’ve yet to be fully prosecuted for their crimes against society.

Hey, Tommy. Maybe about 27 years at Robben Island might be a good way to learn how to shut up.

Send balm and Pulitzer-grade tips top&j@phx.com.

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